Just tired

I have moments when I think there might be something wrong with me. I'm tired and have no motivation. Then I look at my lifestyle and realize what is wrong is the way I'm living. I have sparks where I work to get back on track and then I fall off again. Yesterday started so well, I ate well and felt great. Then we had chili dogs for lunch and chinese food for dinner and donuts for dessert. Ugh!!! I get angry and decide to switch everything around only to have it fail. Then I say I'm going to take baby steps and get impatient. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sitting here in pain. My foot hurts, my back hurts, I have a bit of a headache. Ugh. I need to get more exercise and I need to get my eating under control. So what to do, what to do......

I did go shopping at Costco today and stocked up on veggies and healthy stuff. Since I will be home for the next 2 weeks I figured I better have good food around. So I think I need to focus on one day at a time or as I like to say, just one day.

I need to focus on just one day at a time. I cannot think about how much weight I have to lose or how much pain I am in or what I can't do. I need to focus on the positive, on the things I can do at this point. So for tomorrow I will do that. I will focus on food, eating good food and tracking it. I will try to walk but I'm not going to get crazy about it. I have things to do prepping for school and writing my dissertation so I will focus on the things I can control. I will do what I can and learn to be happy with it. I will not beat myself up over what I can't do, I will be happy and grateful for what I can do. Okay, I feel better already. I need to be kind to myself but at the same time strict. I need to switch my thinking around so that eating well is being kind to myself and eating junk is being mean. If I can get that thinking going and then work on being kind to myself, I think I will have better success.

Okay, I do feel like a weight has been lifted. I think starting the day with 1,000 calorie breakfast didn't help my mental state. I feel better now I have a plan and that always helps. Now I need to put together a to-do list for tomorrow. I need to have that to keep me on track. So let's go:

Tomorrow:

• 1 hour writing proposal which will require at least 1 hour of reading before hand
• Get 2 weeks of lesson plans for all classes ready
• Finalize the Science Survivor game
• Create Chemistry Cash
• Walk dogs

This week: 

• Vacuum and steam floor
• clean computer room
• clean kitchen
• clean bathroom