16 May 2016

A very enlightening weekend

We just got back from 3 days in Phoenix. It was a real eye opener in many different ways.

We learned that Phoenix heat, even 102F, is not the same as Hawaii heat. Phoenix heat doesn't make you sweat, Hawaii does. We stepped off the plane and felt like a wet blanket was thrown on us. Ugh.

We learned that I will be working with some really cool people at my new school. I'm very excited about that.

We learned that we already have some pretty good friends in Phoenix. That is awesome.

Now, on to what I learned about myself. I am fat. I am that woman. I kept seeing myself in the mirror at the hotel and my stomach is huge. Huge. My clothes don't fit right. My back hurts because of my stomach, I'm sure of it. We had to walk through the airport in LA and I was that woman. I was walking slow and having trouble because I am fat and my back was hurting. The thing is, I didn't resort to the 'I hate my body' mantra. I resorted to the, 'this has to end and end now' mantra. This is not the person I want to be. I want to be the person that I used to be when I did races and tris and was always active. I want to be that person, not this one. Well, I'm the only one that can change that. So I'm going to.

I need to stop screwing around with this eating plan and that eating plan and not really sticking to anything. I need to stick to a way of eating and give it a go. I also need to stop eating sweets. Those are my real downfall. So I need to just eliminate them, or have them once a week. Once. a. week. Not 2 nights a week, or 3 nights a week, or every night in a week. Once. A. Week.

I also need to up my activity. I think it is time to just admit that Crossfit no longer works for me. For a variety of reasons, many of which may go away once I lose some weight. But for now, I just need to suck it up and admit that Crossfit may be a thing of the past for me. So I need to get my butt back to doing other things. I can walk. I need to walk. A. Lot. So I can start with that. I can also do free aerobics on the computer. I need to do that. But I need to start just walking. I am far, far to sedentary and I need to get moving more. So I'm going to start walking in the mornings - I used to do that regularly and loved it. I will also be walking the dogs every single day possible. Walking is going to be the key to my beginning.

Okay, I'm feeling a little bit down on myself and I need to go pick myself up. More later.

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