18 January 2017

Some quick thoughts

It is 4:30 am and I am supposed to be working on my dissertation, which I did just finish loading articles, but I have some thoughts that I just need to get out of my head and find a way around.

Last night I had planned on going to Crossfit for the mobility class and I was also thinking of going to school for an open house they were having. Now neither of those things happened and I'm kind of upset with myself about it. Why didn't they happen? Because I was tired! Tired!! What a stupid excuse. And I wasn't even that tired because I did not take a nap, or should I say fall asleep at my desk - which is what I usually do when I'm really tired. So yes, I was tired, but not that tired. Also, the mobility class is not like a workout, I totally could have done it. And the going to the open house would mean that I did not have to go to the next one. Ugh!!! I let a little thing like 'tired' control my life. I did go to bed early, but I would have been able to go to bed at that time anyway. Ugh!!!!

So I need a strategy to battle 'tired'. I can't give into it. I can't let it control my life because then nothing will get done. I need to find a way to combat it or to just not let it take over things. And truth be told, I really wasn't that tired. I've come home completely wiped out before, I was not like that last night. Ugh!!! Ugh!!! Ugh!!!.

No more. I cannot let tiredness rule my life. I have let that happen for far too long and it has made me miserable. It has also made me fat. I used to be able to use rest and napping as a reward. Now it has become a way of life. Done, over, no more. I will not allow tiredness to be an excuse anymore. Unless I'm just literally dead on my feet. Otherwise, I make a plan, I stick with it and not ifs, ands, or buts. I am tired of my lazyness and the stress and delays it causes me. It is partially responsible for my lack of progress on my dissertation as well as my weight gain. That is it, no more. I'm really so completely over this.

Okay, just needed to get that off my chest and sort it out in my head. I'm not going to allow anything but my plans and goals to run my life. I'm especially not going to allow tiredness to do that.

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