27 January 2018

Changing the way I think

I've been working on this a lot recently. I am generally an all or nothing person, but I'm working hard on changing that. And for the most part, it's working. I now don't lose my mind if I eat something I shouldn't, I just hop right back on the wagon and continue like nothing happened. The other day I purposefully didn't meditate because I had become obsessed with the number of days I had meditated.  So I skipped a day and then picked up the next day. It was not the end of the world. Yes, my streak is gone, but I did not lose my mind or obsess over the fact that I didn't meditate. So that is progress. But I still have things to work on.

For example, I still look at the day being over when I arrive home from school. That is 4 pm! The day can't be over that early. But I still think of it that way. Of course, coming home and putting my pajamas on doesn't help anything. So I need to work on that. I also need to work on my walking. During the work week, I walk plenty. My steps are usually 10,000 - 15,000 depending on the day. But on the weekends, yeah, not so much. Yesterday I hit 4,200 and I was kind of busy all day. So that is something I need to work on. I love, love, love walking. I love walking and listening to my book. I love being outside in the fresh air. I love everything about walking. So why do I struggle with it during the weekends? I need to just schedule some walking and do it during the weekends. I need to develop the mindset, that when I have some downtime I need to just go and walk.

Yesterday we joined LA Fitness. Now I've been a member of Planet Fitness for almost a year and haven't gone in 6 months or so, but what the hell, join a new club. So now I need to lose my 'fear' of gyms. I need to start lifting weights and will have to go there to do it. I only want to go 3 or 4 times a week and Friday mid-day was dead, dead, dead. They said Monday is super busy, so Monday is out. But I think I'll try a weekday right after school. So come home and head straight over there. Then I think a weekend day in the middle of the day. That should be pretty quiet. This is going to take me out of my comfort zone. I feel myself getting all itchy just thinking about it. So this will be a challenge. But a challenge I can face. But part of the problem with any gym is the attitude that the day ends at 4 pm. I come home and need to not stop everything. Maybe I need to plan more things after school. Like going to games or doing things around the house. Or walking the dogs. Or going to the gym. I need to shift my thinking so that my day doesn't end until I eat dinner. That would work. If I looked at dinner as the end of the day and that I can relax after that, I think that is a good way to think.

So there you have it. I need to change some thinking around, but I think I have a plan now. I can do this. I can totally do this.

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