17 November 2019

Catch up time

It's been a while since I've been here. The last real update was Sept. 2nd, which was 11 weeks ago. Lets see what has happened since then.

House: We are settling in. Still settling in I guess. I don't like to rush into things. I like to get the feel of things before I start making changes. I need to know the flow of the place before I can figure out what will work best. So we are getting there. Yesterday we went to an exotic plant sale and bought some cool plants for the yard. We got lilikoi, a mango tree, dragon fruit, and some edible ginger. We did some research on what is best for them, I hope Hubby listens to it, and we worked out where to plant them. Yesterday we got the lilikoi and the edible ginger in the ground. Today we will get the dragon fruit and the mango tree planted. We just have to be careful with them and get them through the winter. Once they take hold and start to grow they should be able to survive the summer. We also finally got the whole ac thing figured out and it's all good now. Still working on unpacking and getting things organized. We have everything for day to day life set up, but the extra things are taking time. It will get there.

Work: Work is actually really good. I'm the department chair and I feel like I have a bit more say in things. They are also asking me to do more things, take more responsibility and that feels good too. I don't want to be admin or anything remotely like that, but it feels nice to have a little more responsibility. Also, the modeling classes I took over the summer are really paying off. I love teaching this way, it's so different and very cool. I did not finish my license as I planned this summer - ya think???  So that is on my list. I would like to get that done by the end of the year. Then I have to consider the whole dual enrollment thing. Do I really want to do it? Ugh..... just want to teach and be happy.

Physical Health: this could get ugly. So in late September I had one of my attacks again. It was really bad. It started on the way home from work and lasted until almost midnight. Since then I've been leary about letting myself get hungry - that's how it started - and as a result I tend to overeat. I did go to the doc and she gave me some medicine to stop the spasming, thankfully I haven't had to try it so that's good. She did want blood work, an ultrasound, and a colonoscopy. I got the bloodwork and it was all good. I got the ultrasound and they found that the lining of my uterus is thick and they found a polyp that might be a problem. So I have to go see a gyno surgeon. Unfortunately I can't get in to see him until December. Figures. I have gained a whole lot of weight and I'm really not sure if it's from my fear of this think happening again or if it's just that I've kind of given up.

Mental Health: towards that end I've really been working the Self-Care Initiative. I've really been working on my thoughts and how they affect me. I've made some huge strides and things are definitely getting better. It's a slow process and something I will be working on for the rest of my life.

Family: heard this week that my sister Ellen has less than 4 weeks to live. Turns out she has cancer just about everywhere and is in hospice. That makes me so sad. When we all lived in the bay area we used to see each other all the time. We were a fairly close family and I loved that. In some ways I feel like my moving to Hawaii split the family up. That's ridiculous I know, but I can't help but wonder what would have happened had I stayed. The thing is, what would have happened to us? I've had a pretty great life and it all came about because of the choices I made so what would have happened if I made different choices? I'll never know but I wonder if the family would be different. Of course, it's rather arrogant of me to think I was the only thing holding the family together. Mom did that. When she passed is really when everything changed and that would have happened no matter where I lived. Anyway, I passed the news on to Barbara. I'm sure I wrote about her. I got her into drug rehab in Hawaii, even paid for her plane ticket, and she left the rehab, wouldn't talk to me, and set out on her own. She's doing well, for the first time in her life. She has a job, an apartment, and seems to have a fairly decent life, so I'm happy for her. But I don't know that I can ever really trust her again. I told her about Ellen and I was rather hard on her. I know I was. But she basically kicked me in the teeth by leaving and not even wanting to talk to me. Anyway, I'm sad that Ellen is dying and that Barbara basically pushed me away.

Dogs: Lola has tested borderline for Cushing's disease but I haven't started her on the medicine yet because the dosage is way too high. I haven't wanted to talk to the vet and so I've been avoiding it and probably making things worse. Ugh. Bella is doing great and bouncing around here like a little puppy sometimes. It's awesome to see. Mavy is doing good. We stopped agility because it is just too far to travel and I don't know that he really wants to do it. Where we live has some great walking paths and we've been walking a lot. Not as much as I want, but a lot. So the pups are happy.

Guess that about brings everything up to speed. I really love living here and I'm really loving the way my life is turning out. I can honestly say that I'm happy. Really, really happy.

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