11 October 2023

On the mend

 definitely feeling much, much better. Still not 100%. Nose is a little stuffy and the cough happens every once in a while, but so much better. Yesterday I stayed up all day, no laying on the couch. This morning I feel pretty good too. I would very much like to try to workout today, I will just have to see how the day goes and how I feel. I don't want to be working out and suddenly start coughing and scare people. That would be bad. 

In other news, I find myself slipping into old habits again. I'm thinking it might be due to being sick and not feeling myself, but I'm not so sure. As I sit here at my desk, there is mail piled up from being unopened. There are a pile of things unfiled on my little file box. My planner is no where in sight, I haven't even taken it out of my bag. Ugh!!!! I don't like when I get like this. This is old mindset, old habits, old patterns. I want to be someone who faces things head on and doesn't play games with them. I have two bills from my cataract surgery that I have just been avoiding. I really can't afford to pay them and so instead of dealing with it, I've been hiding my head in the sand. That's stupid and extremely counterproductive. That creates all kinds of unnecessary stress and anxiety. These bills pop up in my thoughts at the worst possible times. Yeah, I hate this. So I need to break this chain of habits and I need to break it right now. So this morning, I'm going to sit here and figure out what I want to do today, put my to-do list in my planner, and then just do it. I'm going to figure out how to pay these bills that I owe. I'm going to open and file away all my mail. I need to revamp the budget a little bit and I need to get a handle on my sh*t. I'm over this. I refuse to be a victim of myself. I will not treat myself like this, I will do better. 

The first and hardest part is always facing the truth. I can't tell you how many times in the last few days, I've said I'll deal with that later. Well, later is here. Again, this may be due partially to my illness, but not entirely because this stack of mail was sitting here before I got sick. So I need to make sure I have the bandwidth to deal with this stuff on a regular basis. Nothing is insurmountable if I just put my mind to it. 

Okay, let's talk about something else I have done twice now. Paid for something and then canceled it. I did it with the Four Peaks dinner last week. It sounds like such a good idea but then come the day of, I chicken out. Well, I just did the same thing with the Tempe Night Market. I signed up and then last night sent an email backing out. Now that one I have a little more justification for, but these are things I should have thought of at the time. It is being held in downtown Tempe - lots of drinking college students. There is Octoberfest going on there too - lots of drinking people. And something is happening at the beach park - not near where we are. There will be lots of people out drinking, many of them college students, and I don't think they will be interested in the things I sell. I just don't. Granted it's from 4pm - 8pm which is on the earlier side and will probably get lots of families, I still honestly don't think it's my kind of event. 

I think I need to be a little more discerning in the events I choose. I really need to think of who my target audience is and consider if they will be there. Also, I am currently signed up for shows and I don't even know all of them. That's not good and something else I need to figure out today. Yeah, I think today will be a day to really get my sh*t together. Hubby is back and he will be working in the yard most of the day, it's a hot mess, so I will have time to do this. I will also cut some more ornaments, I'm making the whole alphabet, and I have new wood on the way. Yeah, things are exciting in the world of my business. 

I have started working on the marketing side too. That is scary and fun at the same time. I have posts scheduled for this week, so that I'm posting regularly. I made my first reel and it actually attracted a follower which is awesome. I need to plan some more reels and get them ready. I have some ideas I just need to flesh them out. This side is fun and exciting as I'm learning something new. 

So I have lots to do today and most of it will be to get myself together and back on track. I need to have a plan when I return to school as I want to keep this going and I hate waiting till the weekends to do things. I may work on my marketing school at night and then actually product making on the weekends, I'll think about it. 

No comments:

End of the year

 and I am just so completely done. I'm not necessarily tired. I'm worn out. I'm worn down. My soul has been drained out of me. I...