24 May 2005

Off to a good start, yet again.....

So I got back on the horse yesterday and it was a good day. Exercised as planned and ate really well. Feeling awesome; empowered!!! Today is also off to a good start. Got up and ran for 40 minutes. Feeling really good....

I do have a couple of issues I need to work out though. First off, I know exactly how this week is going to go. I will do great until about Thursday. By then my appetite will increase and while I will try hard to hold it together, it will slowly start to fall apart. By the weekend I will be totally out of control. I have to change this and awareness is the first step. I know I'm not as hungry in the beginning of the week as I am towards the end because I still have the "fuel" from the weekend carrying me through. So I need to alter my eating habits toward the end of the week so that it carries me through. I also have to stop looking at things as, during the week I eat this way and on weekends I eat this way. I need to eat consistently all the time. So that will be my focus this week. Starting tomorrow I will up the veggie and protein intake so that I don't start getting hungry and by the weekend be ready to pig out.

The other issue is a little harder and I can't explain it. Money has been tight for awhile and it doesn't look like it's going to let up any time soon. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. I can not begrudge others what they have. I have made my choices and have to live with that. Not that my choices have been bad, not at all. I just look at choices other people make and think why didn't I do that; which is really stupid because I like what I'm doing and wouldn't want to do some of the things other people do........ I need to focus on the good things in my life. I have a good job; I'm very healthy and active; I have a house on the beach; I have a good husband and dogs that I just love; I have a daughter who seems to have her act together (go figure). Things are really going well in my life and that's what I need to remember........ How come it doesn't feel any better. I still feel like sitting in a corner and crying "WHY ME!!!" I need to pick myself up and get myself straight again......

Finally, I have to decide what to do about my ankle. I sprained it on May 14th and it seemed to be healing nicely. On May 19th I reinjured it slightly and it's still bothering me. I didn't use it at all on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday but it's still hurting. And it hurts on the inside of the ankle not on the outside. I probably should have a doctor look at it but I don't want to hear that I need to not use it for 2 weeks or something......... I don't know what to do.....

Okay, enough whining. I'm clearly feeling down on myself today and I need to snap out of it...... Get over it girl!!!!

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