20 June 2005

Granted, it's early on Day 1 but I'm feeling really good.

I got up this morning and had my protein shake, then did Crunch Dance Party, and had breakfast when I got to work. I have all my snacks and lunch ready and I think it will be a good day. It helps that I ate so much garbage over the weekend that sweets sound gross to me.

I spent the last 4 days getting ready to start this Body for Life challenge and I have to say, I've never spent this much time getting ready for anything since I finished college. I ready a number of websites, I read the book, I looked up receipes, I started a journal with all kinds information in it to keep me going, I sat and planned out meals and exercise for the entire week. I don't have to think about anything, just follow my journal. I think that's what was missing from my previous efforts. With Weight Watchers I had a lot of weight to lose and so doing the program kind of half-assed still worked. Now that I'm so close to my goal I really have to get strict with myself. Well, I'll see how this week goes.

I also realized that I don't REALLY believe that I can do this. I have developed a vision of what my final self will look like and I think I don't really believe it's possible. I've been doing this for a very, very long time and I think that may be undermining my thoughts. I think, "Well, I haven't done it so far why would I do it now???" Now logically I know that's not true but deep down I think that's what's lurking there. I need to find a way to dig those negative thoughts out and get rid of them, but they are buried pretty deep. I guess I will just keep telling myself that I can and will do this and eventually the negative thoughts will go away. I will work on positive self talk every single day.

Okay, I really have some work to do. I'm off to talk myself skinny :)

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