Okay, slow down...

Woke up a little sore this morning. Really feel it in the back and butt. I may have overdone it just a little yesterday but it felt good. Tomorrow I have a 5k race that I have a real chance of placing in my age group. Keep your fingers crossed.

I have a confession to make here. I am shy. Painfully shy. I will avoid doing things because I feel so uncomfortable in new situations. I have to force myself to do things and to talk to people. It gets really tough sometimes. When I was on vacation I did a Resolution Run on Jan. 1 and I had to talk myself through it the whole time (hubby had tickets to the 9er game so I was on my own). In spite of the wind and rain and cold and miserable conditions, I had a great time and met some really nice people. But I had to force myself to do it. Part of the problem is I doubt myself - a lot! I tend to think I'm not good enough or fast enough or interesting enough or whatever enough and I let those negative thoughts win sometimes. So, one of my goals this year is to do something outside of my comfort zone once a month (I'd like to do it once a week but I think I'll start slow). I've already done something this month by doing the Resolution Run BUT I'm not going to count that. Next week I have a biathlon. Now I have not swum in over 3 months (acutally since my freak out at the tri) so I'm going to have to squeeze some swimming in this week. This is way, way out of my comfort zone. I will probably be the last one out of the water but hey, someone has to be last right?? I have to start working on this mentally now or I will chicken out. Okay, there it is, it's out there. Most people who know me have no idea about this. I come off as very strong and confident and bold but I'm not. Inside I'm scared and shy and constantly doubting myself. Well, I've been like this for 46 years, I think it's time to get over it, don't you?? By the way, this is also the year for me to totally get honest with myself (I usually am but I want to be even moreso).

Comments

Bolder said…
oh, i'm the same way... jumped into the pool today, and this person is staring at me, sayin' nothin', my first reaction was to just swim away... but, i said 'water's cold today!', which warranted about a grunt...

that's more than i would have got i guess if i had just pushed away and kicked water in their faces!
La said…
I know exactly what you mean about appearing one way but being a different way inside. Baby steps...

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