27 August 2008

LIfe's Changes....

It's not often you can feel yourself changing. At least not for me. I am undergoing a basic, fundamental shift and I am well aware of it. As a result of this change I'm undergoing I can see changes that happened in the past that I missed. Interesting.

When we moved to Hawaii 18 years ago I was a certain type of person. I was outgoing and adventurous. I enjoyed dressing well but wasn't a real fashion plate. I did enjoy my shoes!! I liked going out and doing new things. After having been very shy and withdrawn during my late teens and early twenties, I really felt like I was coming into my own in my 30's. It was a really good time for me. Then we moved to Hawaii.

For the first time in my life I didn't have family around the corner. I was 3,000 miles from everyone I knew, except my husband of course. But I was game. I came here, found work, made some friends, started my own business, things were looking good. Then something happened. I'm still not sure exactly what but I started to withdraw. It was the little things. I stopped wearing make-up. Stopped caring about what I wore. I did not realize it at the time, but something was dramatically shifting in me. This lasted for quite a while. When I decided to go to college things started to pick up a little but after I graduated and got a job, I fell back into the old routine. I'm really not sure what it was me or where we were.

We made the decision to move to Colorado while I was reading The New Earth. It's kind of amazing now, because Eckhart Tolle says in the book that if a decision comes from the right place all the pieces will fall into place and things will work. It's true. Once the decision was made things began falling into place. In spite of my little melt down last week :) But things really are working out very easily. I've gone shopping and bought some killer clothes. I even started wearing make-up again this week. I really feel like I'm coming back into myself. I also really feel like this is what I'm supposed to be doing. It feels good.

1 comment:

Irene said...

I completely understand what you're talking about. It sounds all good!

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