09 November 2010
What is going on?
I am seriously at a loss as to what is going on with me. I have zero motivation. My energy level is sinking fast. I eat everything that isn't nailed down. What the heck? I'm sitting here watching the Biggest Loser and I want to be like that. I want to push myself and work as hard as I can. Just a week ago I pushed myself just about as far as I could go. I walked home, after a 2 hour workout, on feet that were killing me. I felt awesome that day and for the days after. But then I lost it. I do know that part of the problem is our financial problems. Those weigh heavy on my mind. All. The. Time. But I need to shake that off and compartmentalize. Worry about money during money times; workout during workout times. I see the problem. When things weigh on me I retreat. Problems with money? I pull back and try to ignore it. That's what's going on. I don't want to face my money issues so I don't face anything. Wow. That's more true than even I realize. Huh.... I think I just had a breakthrough of some kind. So I just did something I've been avoiding - I checked the bank account. It's right where I thought it would be but was terrified I was wrong. So Hill #1 conquered.... I need to tackle another one...
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