07 September 2011
For the last few weeks I've been feeling very angry. Last Friday it reached a peak and today it was back. I knew there was something wrong but I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. I thought it was stress and that I just had so much going on. Then tonight when I was walking Bella it hit me, I have lost control. I have lost control of my classroom. I have lost control of the Aloha Show. I have lost control of my life and I do not like it. At. All. What do they say? Admitting you have a problem is half the battle?? Well, I have eyeballed the problem and I plan on changing things. Tomorrow. And I'm not putting things off, that's the soonest I can change anything. Well, that's not totally true. I have already got things ready tonight so that I am in a position to take control tomorrow. I have come up with some ideas for regaining the control I feel I have lost in the classroom and I will address the whole Aloha Show head on tomorrow. I feel a whole lot better already. Knowing what's wrong and coming up with ways to fix it is a huge, huge step in the right direction. Part of this is admitting what I can control and what I can't and rethinking those that I can't. The new semester at HPU started today. I clearly have done nothing to get my butt into a class so I have to let that go. I will however get everything ready so that I can take these classes in the spring semester. There you go, a solution. Not the one I had hoped for but a solution that is workable and within my ability to control. I can't always control the situation, but I can control how I react to it. And I choose to take control back thank you.