01 February 2014

Getting right back on the horse

So yesterday I fell. In many ways, I fell hard. But yesterday is over and it's time to move on. Yesterday shook me in some deep, primal way. I'm not sure why. Other people have died. I've lost family members, but yesterday shook me. I think it might be because I knew what was going on with her. For a year I had watched her struggle with her health and at times I felt like she was doing the wrong thing. The thing is, what she was doing wrong is the kind of thing I would do. I believe that's what shook me so hard. I like to think that I am intelligent, but watching her last year and thinking I might react the same way, is kind of scary.

But I can't use that as an excuse to fail. I need to use it as a learning tool and make sure I don't do something similar. So it's back at it today. In spite of all the food I ate last night, cookies, beer, margaritas, burger, fries, pie, I woke this morning hungry. That tells me that my body does not recognize most of that stuff as food. I was stuffed last night, I should not be hungry this morning, but I am. I'm going to Crossfit without eating anyway. And the rest of the day will be eating good, real food and recovering from yesterday. Wish me luck at Crossfit this morning, because I am starving.....

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