My motivation has completely left me

I am trying so hard to be positive and upbeat, but I have zero motivation. I want to lose weight, but don't really do anything about it. I eat what I want, when I want and I don't workout. I want to be motivated. I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. Why can't I get going again? I want to, I truly do, but I just can't seem to find the motivation to do it. I've been trying to focus on positivity and self-love hoping that it would just kick in the good habits. It hasn't. I've been relatively happy, but nothing. Clearly, I'm going to have to do something more. I don't like the way I feel or the way my body feels. I'm tired and sore and don't have much energy. So I think it is time to start faking it until I make it. The guy on one of the forums I'm on says to live the life you want to have. I guess that will have to be the way it is. I'm really tired of being tired. Yes, I do have a lot on my plate, but there are others that have more and they manage. So time to start faking it, whether I feel it or not.

So I went off, ate dinner, and cleaned up the kitchen and did a little thinking. I have habits that are pretty much non-negotiable. Things like brushing my teeth in the morning and evening; cleaning up the kitchen after dinner; walking the dogs; etc. If I can do that, I can make exercising and eating right a habit too. That is what I'm going to do. So let's try this. I need to develop a plan and just stick with it. Make it completely non-negotiable. There just can be no feelings involved. I don't feel like brushing my teeth some nights, but I do it because I know it's best for me. I need to just do this. It will be hard and I won't want to, but I must. I have no choice. I cannot go on the way I am.

Okay, I'm going to develop a plan and I'm going to stick to it. I will not make them too difficult at first, I just need to establish habits. I want to make this work. I need to make this work.....