06 August 2017

Unconditional love

I've been working hard on this for a couple of weeks now. I find myself saying I'm fat or whatever, and I immediately follow that with 'that's okay.' I find I am no longer beating myself up for things like eating 1/2 a package of cookies. Yes, I ate 1/2 a package but I haven't had cookies in months. I would rather have a bunch at once then eat some every day.  I have taken to wearing 2 piece bathing suits when it's just me and Hubby. I'm very comfortable wearing them now. I haven't weighed myself in weeks. Weeks. And I'm okay with that. Self-love is not easy, especially when you've spent a lifetime hating your body. But I'm working on it and I'm definitely making progress.

Which leads to this. Since I am becoming more accepting of myself and not beating myself up so often, I find that the excuses are falling away. I find it easier to do the things that I need and want to do because I'm coming from a place of love and acceptance. I'm pretty sure I'm not explaining it right, but that's about the best I can do.

I made it to the gym 3x this week. That is amazing since it was the first week of school and usually, I am so exhausted that first week I can hardly move. Not this year. I actually felt pretty good last week. I'm wondering if beating myself up is what made me so tired 😋 Also, I'm not obsessing over my food. I am making good food choices, expect for the 1/2 pack of cookies, and eating until I'm full. I'm not paying attention to calories or carbs or fat or whatever. I'm eating healthy, whole foods and I'm feeling good.

So there it is. Self-love, self-acceptance, being kind to myself. I'm making baby steps, but at least I'm making steps.

No comments:

End of the year

 and I am just so completely done. I'm not necessarily tired. I'm worn out. I'm worn down. My soul has been drained out of me. I...