19 February 2018

Thoughts shape actions

This is something I've been working on through AltShift since September. When I joined AltShift Activate, this was the biggest change I had to make. I had to learn how to examine my thoughts and reframe the way I think about things. It was hard. It is hard. And it's a work in progress. I thought I had a handle on this pretty well since I can examine thoughts on food and walking and meditation, but then I got blindsided by something.

I want to start lifting weights. I've wanted to start for awhile but have held off because I wanted to have the foundation in place. I have to make sure the walking, meditation, food, and sleep is solid before adding anything else to the mix. They are. I am not perfect, but I do each of these to the best of my ability every single day. So it is finally time to add weights in. I like lifting weights. I like strength work, I always have. However, I was afraid of getting caught up in the whole numbers game of it. I tend to be very, very competitive with myself and I don't want to get caught in that when I start lifting. So I had avoided started and realized that I needed a reality check.

I got that reality check this morning when I actually got to talk to Jason Seib. I love him because he is so logical and straightforward. He tells it like it is and doesn't sugar coat anything. Well, he did that this morning. He had me laughing at myself and realizing how silly it was to be afraid of this. I need to just think things through. If I get caught up in the higher weights/more reps mindset, I need to ask why. What will happen if I don't lift more weight than last time? What will change? What will fall apart if I don't lift more weights? This is what I need to keep in mind. What I do in each workout has no bearing on what happened before or will happen after. It is a one-off event. Some days will be great and I'll be strong, other days I won't be as strong. I just need to keep that in mind and remember that. I've mastered that with my food. I eat something that is not on shift and I no longer throw the whole day away. I will taste something and that's it, I'm done. So I need to keep that in mind when weight lifting. What I do today has no bearing on any other day. Okay.

After speaking with him, I realized that I have not been using my mindfulness the way I should. I need to examine my thoughts whenever they seem crazy like these thoughts were. Part of the problem is that I haven't been listening to Jason. When I started ASA I had Jason every single day for 3.5 months plus I was listening to his podcasts on my walks to and from school. After ASA I stopped listening to the podcast. Well, today I got back into it. I listened to 3 podcasts and got myself back into the AltShift mindset. I think I'm back on track and I think this was a good learning experience for me. I thought I had things pretty well wired but this shows me that I don't. I am still a work in progress and need to keep on top of my thoughts and not let them get crazy.

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