24 October 2021

Old habits, old patterns

 One of the things I've been really working on in the past few years is changing my thinking patterns. I know that they hold me back in many ways, and I've been working to alter them. The problem is that the old patterns are so well myelinated in my brain that it is so incredibly easy to just slip back into them again. And that's what I've done recently. 

I am unhappy with the way my body feels lately. I talked about my low back pain on Thursday, but more importantly I talked about the things I needed to do to stop this pain. I know what needs to be done. I know exactly how to do it. I know that it will take time. I know that it will not feel great to begin with and that I just need to power through it. I know all this and yet I let old patterns of procrastination and apathy prevent me from moving forward and making progress. So let's discuss in more detail. 

Gym:  Why don't I go more often? I would like to say there are a lot of reasons but that's not completely true. The main reason that I don't go as often as I should is because I don't feel like it. There it is, out in the open. I don't feel like it. As if my 'feelings' or 'emotions' has anything to do with going to the gym. They don't!!!!!  The only time they should even be slightly considered is when the feelings involve pain of some sort. Otherwise, feelings have no place in the gym. There, I said it and these are words I need to live by. I say that I'm busy or I don't have time or something came up and that is all bullsh*t. All of it. We did have a lot of errands to run yesterday. We left here at 7am and did not return until noon. So why did I not go to the gym then? Because I wanted to relax!! As if that will help anything at all. So this week I'm going to focus my thoughts around the gym. I WILL go today and then not again until next Friday, but I'm going to dig into my thoughts around this and get them in line. This will be a good test. On Friday we have a staff meeting in Laveen at 9am. That means I will have to get up and walk Mavy and get to the gym all before 8ish. That is totally doable as long as I don't think about it. I need to put the gym and walking into robot mode and leave it there for a while. 

Steps: Speaking of walking..... I have been beating myself up over the fact that I can't seem to get my steps in regularly. Initially I had 10,000 steps as my goal because doesn't everyone? But recently I read somewhere that 7,500 was a good goal to aim for. So I have lowered my step goal to 7,500 just to get into the routine of getting them done. I have made that goal the last 2 days but I have also walked Mavy everyday and done and done a lot of walking each day while doing errands. I was just thinking about Friday. I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for 15ish minutes, so there's that. I also walked Mavy on the canal. So let's think about that for a minute. On Friday I got almost 10,000 steps, it was 9700. I did that by walking Mavy on the canal and on the treadmill, those things took a total of one hour. One hour. I could break that up over the course of the day and get those steps in. What if every hour I walked for 250 steps? That would be 3,000 a day. But that doesn't make sense. If I do that on top of the walks I take I guess that would be good. You know what? I'm going to start there. I'm going to shoot for 250 steps every hour. That will at least give me a small goal to work towards splitting my steps up over the course of the day. I have a feeling I get more than that now, but I've set my phone to show my steps and I will keep on it. Now I just need to set an alarm for every hour with what the step count should be then. Oh, good idea. See, I can solve these problems if I just think about them and not let them bring me down. 

Okay, I've been here too long as I went down a rabbit hole with the watch. I need to get moving and get my day started. Off to walk Mavy and go to the gym. Maybe I'll just go to the gym and walk Mavy later to break it up a little. Hmmmmm.........

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