30 March 2022

Meditation can be hard

 Today my mind was like a rabid squirrel, darting all over the place. I had so many thoughts while meditating that I don't even remember them all. Yikes!!!! Some of them were sort of important too and now I can't remember them. Yikes!!!! Oh well, they will return. 

So I know that I shouldn't put any credence in the number on the scale, but today I am down to 213. Now I know that does not define me and I'm not over the moon happy about it, but it definitely is nice to see the number heading in the downward direction. I think I've dieted enough to not let the number on the scale dictate my mood or anything like that. It is just a moment in time and my relationship with gravity at that moment. I know that it can change drastically and swiftly for no apparent reason. Yesterday morning I was 214.8 but after an hour I was 215. That makes no sense at all but I think I have a grasp on that fact now. There was a time when the scale would determine my mood and how my day went. Thankfully that doesn't happen anymore. I use it as another piece of data in my quest to lose some bodyfat. More telling indicators of health are my energy levels, they are definitely improving, my sleep, which was good but really seems to be getting better. 

Let's talk about sleep for just a moment. I've always been a good sleeper, that is something I do well. But lately my sleep has been getting fantastic. I'm working on new bedtime routines and one of them is reading for 20 minutes or so before I head off to bed. So here's how my evenings look. We have dinner and I will generally sit on the couch and play my coloring game while he feeds the dogs. That is when I watch TV for a bit. Around 7:30ish, I will get up and get the dogs their pills and biscuits, clean the kitchen, and generally start winding down for the night. Around this time Hubby usually heads off to bed. I finish cleaning the kitchen, refilling water bowls, getting Bella out for her final potty break, and then getting her into the bedroom for the night. This can take anywhere from 20 to 45 minutes. Once Bella is finally settled, I turn everything off in the kitchen and living room and sit down in my chair and read for 20 - 30 minutes. This is proving to really help wind me down for bed and I love reading and bought a stack of books over the weekend, so I need to make time to read them. When I go to bed, I usually read my Kindle or a while, but since I started this evening reading I only read my Kindle for 10ish minutes and I'm ready to drop off. I used to sit and scroll Facebook and Instagram - two things I am trying desperately to get away from. Since I enjoy reading so much, this drags me away from that. My brain does not need that stimulation right before bed. Reading is much more calming and relaxing. 

Okay, the tree grew like 3 minutes ago. I'm out. 

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