23 April 2022

On being an introvert

I don't think I blogged yesterday. I think I had a reason but now it escapes me.

Today I'm going to talk about being an introvert. It has taken me years to realize that I am a true introvert and what exactly that means.

Introvert is defined as:

a shy, reticent person.

In turn, reticent is defined as:

not revealing one's thoughts or feelings readily.

I would argue with both of those definitions. Am I shy sometimes? Sure. Am I reticent sometimes? Sure. But not always and that is not the defining characteristic of introversion.

This is probably the closest I've seen to a true description of introversion:

It's still not 100% accurate, but it's pretty close.

Introverts are not necessarily shy. No one I know would describe me as shy. I'm friendly, outgoing, and enjoy a good time as much as the next person. However, being in the company of people for long periods of time literally saps my energy. By the time I leave a group I've been with for a long time, all I can think of lying down and resting in peace and quiet.

There are times when I really like being with people and there are certain people I really like being with. But all of it zaps my energy and eventually I need some alone time to recharge. And that is how I recharge, by being alone.

I bring this up because yesterday was one of those energy sapping days. I had to take the science club to lunch and an escape room. It was a lot of fun, but by the time the last girl was picked up I was ready for some alone time. Thankfully I had the drive home to be alone. When I got home I was exhausted and we were meeting some friends for dinner. So I laid on the couch and napped for about 30 minutes or so. We went to dinner and I just did not have it in me to be happy and social. Just didn't have it. So I was pretty quiet during dinner. Again, not shy, I just did not have the energy to deal with all that. Since I was being pretty quiet, I had the opportunity to watch some of the people there. One of the people there was an absolute extrovert and it was the first time I'd really got a chance to watch it in action. She talked constantly. Constantly!! And she explained things in the minutest detail when it was necessary at all. She even talked while she was eating. Swear to god she did. She stopped in the middle of eating to take a picture of her drink. Everyone else was done with dinner and she was only half way through between talking and taking pictures of her drink. I know a lot of extroverts, but this was the first time I could observe up close and not have something to do. It was interesting to say the least.

Knowing I'm an introvert really has helped me deal with my life. I know that teaching saps my energy but a short bathroom break has become just enough to set me right again. I lunch with some friends at work and I'm usually super quiet at lunch, but I enjoy the banter and the fact that I don't necessarily have to participate in it. It gives me a chance to step outside myself and watch others which is something that I love to do.

Okay, that's about it. Yesterday was an interesting day and I just needed to get my thoughts out.

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