28 October 2023

A bit of introspection

 I dance with depression. I had it for a long, long time years ago. Going back through this blog I find places where depression really took hold and I can see it in what I wrote. The first time I realized I had been depressed, I was shocked. I did not seem like the type of person who would get depressed. But I did. And I was in it for a long, long time before I recognized it and was able to deal with it. Since then I've gotten better and better at seeing it coming. I can usually recognize it pretty quickly, within a couple of days, and then deal with it. Well, today I felt it coming on. This is probably the earliest I've ever noticed it, but it was starting. So I started thinking about what could be causing it, and I've come up with a few things. 

First, my sister in law and her new husband are coming to visit tomorrow. I'm not a huge fan of this sister for a lot of reasons. Also, she contacted him very last minute and it very much felt like an after thought. She made plans with friends and others and then contacted him to try and get together when she's not busy. So like her. Anyway, I'm kind of annoyed that I have to be nice to her tomorrow. Thankfully I'm sure she won't be here for long since they have dinner plans. Also, we have other friends coming over so there will be a buffer between us. 

Second, I'm spending money like a drunk sailor on my business. I'm banking on making some money this holiday season and I sure hope I do. I have my first show in 2 weeks and I've reached the point of paralyzing indecision. It's a dog show so I need lots of dog things. But how much is enough? I guess I could just figure out how much I want to sell and make sure I have that much stuff. 

Anyway, I'm pleased that I recognized it so very quickly and now I just need to get through tomorrow and figure out how much dog stuff to make. 

Okay, enough for tonight. 

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