11 May 2008
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!!!
Mothers day has always been day that made me feel like a fraud. I never felt I was a really good mother so I didn't feel I deserved any special recognition. Also, most of the time I felt like I didn't know what I was doing, so please, let's not celebrate my incompetence. Of course, I only had 1 child and I don't know if that makes a difference. Maybe I would have felt a little more confident if I had a second child. But, as I really wasn't the mother type, one was more then enough for me.
My daughter however, turned out to be a wonderful mother. She has 2 kids and is an absolutely fantastic mother to them both. I know she didn't get it from me, which can only mean she got it from my mother. My mother was a huge presence in my daughter's life her entire life. In fact, those times in my life when I was being the selfish individual I generally am, my mom stepped in and took over the raising of my daughter. So I'm sure that's where she gets it from. Definitely not me.
My mom has been gone now for 5 1/2 years and I still miss her. I put her through so much grief when I was a teenager - I was rotten - and yet later in life we became close. When I moved to Hawaii we weren't as close as we had been but we still talked every week. She came out to visit a number of times. I miss her. I don't think I'll ever stop missing her. She never graduated high school, yet was one of the smartest women I know. She was raised in a time where you married and had kids and didn't work. Yet when my father left twice, she handled 7 kids all by herself and kept us going. How hard that must have been for her. When my dad passed away my mother went out and found a job. She hadn't worked since World War II, but that didn't stop her. At the age of 50 she went back to school to become a nurse. That was what she always wanted to do, and she did. At the time I didn't understand the things she did or the things she was going through. Looking back now I am all the more amazed by her.
So Happy Mother's Day to my Mom, wherever she is, to my daughter, and to all the mothers out there.
at May 11, 2008
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