17 January 2010

Normal people don't obsess about food

Yesterday afternoon we went to a pub for lunch. We weren't planning on it but that's the way things worked out. As I was sitting in the pub, drinking a beer, with my new found freedoms from yesterdays revelations I was watching the people at the bar. There was this one woman who was fairly young, sipping a beer and chatting with the other folks at the bar. Clearly she was a regular because everyone knew her. As I watched her I flashed on my younger days. Back then, when I thought I had a weight problem but didn't, I didn't think a lot about food. I didn't. I didn't constantly obsess about it; when is my next meal, what am I going to eat, how long until I eat. None of that stuff would enter my head. I would get up in the morning, grab something- usually toast and peanut butter - and head out to work. After working for a few hours I would go grab some lunch. Then go home at night and throw some dinner together. Before that when I was still single, we would go to the local bar after work, have a drink or two and have dinner with the happy hour food. I rarely had lots of food in the house so if I was hungry it involved a trip out. Now I know this is not the healthiest way to eat but the point is that I didn't obsess about food at all. I ate when it was around, if it wasn't I didn't eat. I did not like candy at all and rarely had sweets. And I was skinny. Somewhere along the line my thinking short-circuited and food became an obsession. Along with a food obsession comes an obsession with weight loss products. So I'm going to try and shake the obsession. Hunger is not going to kill me - not for a long, long time. I'm going to try and lose my attitude of viewing food as good or bad. It just is. It is the fuel that my body runs on - that's all. It can not make me feel better and it has no power over me at all. I'm going to try and return to normal.

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