07 August 2010

Race dreams....

I wrote yesterdays post right before I went to bed last night so I'm guessing it was on my mind. Some time during the night I dreamed about the race. I felt the excitement of the race, the challenge of the swim, the exhilaration of the bike ride and the agony of the run. It felt awesome. When I raced that's how it felt to me: the swim was always challenging because it's my weakest link; the bike was always exhilarating because I got big thighs and can ride; finally the run was always agony because I would go flat out on the bike and then have lead for legs. I loved it. I loved the feeling of racing. I love the atmosphere and everything about it. I want to race again but the only way I can race is if I get my butt in gear. So today it all changes.

I was looking back over my blog trying to find the spark that I used to have about working out. It's there but I didn't document it clearly so it's hard to put into words. I do know that working out and weight loss was a huge part of my focus. When I want to accomplish something I need to put the time and effort into it. It needs to become the major recipient of my energies and it kind of needs to consume my life. For the last year or so teaching has done that but I'm feeling much more comfortable this year so I think it's time to regain myself. I need to spend some time every day focusing on me. I think I need to set time aside to do that. Maybe I should compartmentalize my day. I get up in the morning feed the birds, workout, and get ready for work. Once I'm at school then I devote all my energies to school. When I come home it's all about walking the dogs and working out. Then after dinner I work on school if I need to. Hmmm....maybe that's the way to go. What I do know is that I need to do it and stop talking about it.

In looking back through my blog I realized a couple of things. First, my 6 year blogging anniversary is coming up. Wow. Second, in that 6 years I have gone through a lot. Periods of great fitness and periods of not so great fitness. Times of great joy and times of not so great joy. What I see is a life, the good, the bad, and the ugly - but a life. Things have changed, I've changed yet a thread runs through it. One thing that seems to be clear is that when I have articulated what I want clearly - it comes to pass. So I must put into words and thoughts exactly what I want and then just do it.

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