Hmmmm.....


It's funny how a little thing can really set me off sometimes. I got a comment, upon intial reading, made me think - oh screw that. They have no idea what they are talking about. That was my initial reaction. But a couple of minutes contemplation really got me to thinking. I have developed an attitude that is not me. I have developed an outlook that is not me. Where did this come from and how did it happen? Hmmmm....

So why exactly do I keep this blog? That is something I haven't really thought about in a long time. I've been doing this for almost 8 years now. Wow. When I started I thought I would do it for a while, I never thought I'd last 8 years. But back to the question, why do I keep doing it? There is definitely one reason that is no ones business but my own, so I won't even go there but I will say, that in and of itself is no reason to keep it going. I do write for me and no one else. Comments are not important to me at all, in fact I've often toyed with the idea of making this private so no one will read it. So I definitely write for me. For me it is more of a mental exercise. It's not for motivation. It's more of a personal journal - what was happening, what was I doing, etc. I don't have a whole lot of use other people - in general. I like to look back and read where I've been and the things I've done.

I know a lot of people do well in these online communities that are everywhere, but they really are not for me. Anything that makes me sit at the computer and prevents me from working out is not a good tradeoff in my opinion. Not that I'm working out all the time, or even enough, but another reason not to is not what I need. That is for sure. I find that I need to be out doing instead of talking about it. And this blog has become a whole lot of talking and very little doing. I have also fallen into a negative space that I don't like at all.

So one little comment has started a cavalcade of thinking. How can I get out of this negative place? How can I end up doing more and talking about it less? Should I even continue with this blog? Maybe 8 years is enough? Lots to think about.

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