That's not what I meant.....
Yesterday's post apparently did not come out the way I planned it. Sometimes what it sounds like in my head and what it sounds like when written down are two very different things. The point I was trying to make is that while initially the comment kind of ticked me off, it really got to me thinking.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
Well, that's what I've been doing these past few months, the same thing over and over and wondering why nothing ever changes. But one little comment got me to see that and to really think about things. I'm tired of being fat and feeling the way I feel. That I'm clear on. What wasn't so clear to me is that I'm not really doing anything to change that. I just complain about it. I make these half-assed plans, that I don't follow through on and wonder why nothing is working for me. DOH!!!! And while I might have known what I was doing deep down, that one little comment brought it to the surface and slapped me in the face with it. That is a good thing.
I know that I need to shake things up and I'm going to do that once school ends next week. I do have a solid plan that I will implement once I don't feel so stressed and have a little more time. But that does not give me the excuse to not do anything at all until then. Sure, right now I don't have time to go to the gym every day or ride my bike for an hour every day, but that doesn't mean I can't eat right. That doesn't mean I can't log what I eat. That doesn't mean I can't wear my HRM when I ride to see how I'm doing. There are lots of little things I can do to get things rolling now. Things that don't require a whole lot of time and effort, just some thought. None of this would have gelled in my mind though if it wasn't for that comment. I was using excuses like they were going out of style. I'm tired, I'm hungry, I can't do it for x amount of minutes, my feet hurt, my back hurts, my head hurts, blah, blah, blah. You know what I tell my students? Excuses are like as*holes, everyone's got one...... So, thanks to that one comment, I'm giving up the excuses. I'm doing what I can, every day and I'm going to stop being a whiny little b*tch.
Because I read that comment yesterday, I spent less time at my computer last night - that is a huge time suck that keeps me on my butt. I ate smaller portions at dinner and I didn't have any dessert. Also, I did get some work done on my thesis. None of these things are huge accomplishments but they are small steps in the direction I want to go. Today I stepped on the scale first thing this morning - this works for me. Even though I know that number isn't that critical, it gives me a gauge to go by. I packed a healthy breakfast and lunch. Breakfast was Greek yogurt with Uncle Sam cereal and a banana. Lunch will be home made egg salad, sandwich thins, maybe a salad and a mango the size of a softball - I love mango. For my snack I have half an apple. That will put my right around 975 calories for the day. I need to drink 3 of my 32oz cups of water. This will set me up for a good evening.
I know what I want and while yes, I can't make any sweeping changes today, I can make small ones that will ready me for the sweeping changes next week. I can also focus on the positive and not the negative. I will focus more on what I am doing and not what I'm not doing. So thank you for that comment.