08 June 2012

Really shifting my thinking



It's kind of amazing to me how quickly things are turning around for me. Seriously. For a long time I was very healthy. I worked out, I ate right, I was active and took care of myself. During that time I didn't step on the scale much. I don't even remember how much I weighed during that time, I'm not even sure if I owned a scale. Then, when I started gaining weight, I became obsessed with the scale. I would weigh myself every single day and sometimes more then once a day. Insane, I know. More insane was the rationalizations I used. I convinced myself that by weighing myself every morning I kept tabs on my weight so I wasn't surprised at weigh-in. Sounds reasonable and it was probably even true at one point. Then it became an obsession. My mood was determined by the number on the scale. If it went down, I had a good day. If it went up, a not so good day. I knew there were fluctuations that had nothing to do with my true weight, yet I let it rule my life. When I was preparing to start this journey again, I purchased a scale - I have not owned one that worked properly for 3 years. I weighed myself once in a while. A couple of times I weighed myself 2 or 3 days in a row. Then I would forget and not weigh. On June 2nd, when I got serious with all this, I weighed myself with the intention of weighing once a week - Saturday morning to be exact. The first week I weighed myself a couple of times during the week. I ended up being up 1 lb last Saturday and it didn't phase me at all. Seriously. I was totally unaffected by the number on the scale. This week I have not even looked at the scale once. Not even once. I realized tonight that I need to weigh in tomorrow, but other then that I haven't even thought about it. I'm starting to feel really good about myself. I'm eating right, I'm working out and I'm liking the way I feel. As a result the number on the scale really has no power over me. Amazing. I'm very proud of myself because clearly my thoughts are shifting and that's what I need to change, my thinking. So things are good. I'm happy with myself. I'm happy with what I'm doing. I'll see what the scale says tomorrow. I wonder if I could insure this feeling so that when it goes away I can get it back. Kind of like business liability insurance quote which protects your business...it would protect my good outlook and practice...

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