09 May 2014

Completely derailed


Even though I vowed earlier that this was over, I spent most of the day in a funk. By 9:30 my stomach was churning and burning. I ate breakfast but it didn't help much. My stomach was just a mess. Eventually I went to the store and I got some mac and cheese and cookies. Not the best foods but I needed something substantial, something carb loaded. I ate about half the mac and cheese and felt much better. Then I started to feel better. I was finally able to let it all go once I felt better. Once I got the stomach settled, things started to fall into place and I was finally able to really let go. I came to accept that what she did, she did and nothing I can say or do would change anything. I can not control anything she does or did, I can only control what I do. So I took control.

With all this that's happened, my eating and working out has completely gone out the window. I have not even considered what I was eating or any working out beyond walking the dogs. Well, that is BS and it ends now. Tomorrow and Sunday I will be doing Crossfit and walking the dogs. Starting Monday, I have nothing to do in the mornings so I will wake up and do a short WOD. During the day I will walk on the treadmill. Then in the evenings I will walk the dogs. It's not great, but better than I been doing. Also, the eating. Time to get that under control. That starts tomorrow. Okay, I feel better now.

Baby steps, baby steps.

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