14 June 2014

Nothings changed

Why do I keep repeating the same stupid things? Why does nothing ever really change. I mean things change, but some aspects of my life just keep repeating themselves. Why, why, why? I don't want to go into detail here, it's far too depressing.

That's what I feel like. I have good intentions, I even make some progress, and then bam, right back into old habits. Why, why, why? Is it possible to really change? Is it such a long process that I just lose interest? Do I lose track of why I want to change? I'm trying hard to figure it out and I'm just not having a whole lot of luck. Is it because I don't truly know how to change? Do I get these flashes of brilliance and then they fade? That's what it seems like sometimes. Or am I just plain lazy? It is easier to just do what I've always done? Is it easier to fall into old patterns and screw the new stuff? I don't know but I'm over it. I'm really truly seriously done with this. Starting right here, right now and I making a change. I will do the things I know that I NEED to do. I will become the person I want to be and that will involve making changes. So here goes nothing.

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