27 June 2015

Stress and relief

For the past few months, I have had a financial burden that has really been weighing me down. I took this summer teaching position at Kamehameha specifically because of this financial burden. I knew that the extra money would help relieve this burden and I needed to do that as soon as possible. Well, yesterday was the first full pay check from Kamehameha and I paid off 2/3s of that burden. Do you have any idea how happy and relieved I am? Do you have any idea how it has changed the way I feel? Let me explain.

I've had this burden for a couple of months. I knew it was, I was in communication with the company, and I knew I was going to take care of it with this job. What I did not know, and never realized, is how much it was eating me up even though it really was 'handled'. I thought about it all the time. I'm a worrier by nature, but usually when I have a plan I'm all good. Not this time. It was always in the back of my mind. That kind of stress is not good for anyone, let alone someone trying to get healthy. Once I made that payment yesterday, I actually felt lighter. Physically lighter. Now, not possible I know, and the burden was not a physical burden but a mental one. But once I made the payment and the relief came flooding in, it felt so very good. Now it's not completely over, I still owe a little more money, but the bulk of it has been paid and I am ever so thankful for that.

So some side effects of this lingering, chronic stress that I was not even aware of. Apparently the stress is one of the things that has caused me to eat excessive sweets lately. Once that was paid, I no longer wanted sweets. I got pizza for dinner and I usually grab a couple of garlic knots with it. Not only did I not have any garlic knots, I gave almost half of my second slice to the dogs. They loved it. Later on in the evening, I thought about having some ice cream but decided I didn't want any. So I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. Amazing. I also went to Crossfit and absolutely killed it.

So yeah. I have known for a long time that stress is not good for the body, but I don't recall having such a clear example of it in the recent past. I am so relieved to have that bill under control and in two weeks I'll be even more relieved when it is paid off. Today I need to sit down and make a financial plan to make sure something like this never happens again. It's not like there was some major catastrophe that caused us to get behind. It was just sheer inattention. I cannot let that happen again. I have big dreams and plans and I cannot let my attention wander and destroy those plans.

Okay, time to start getting ready for Crossfit.

Later that day: I have worked out a financial plan and by August 1st everything will be in order. I cannot wait. I need to be strong and stay focused on the goal - financial normalcy. I just cannot express how relieved I am to finally have this mess under control. I don't know about anyone else, but when finances are a mess, I'm a mess. So glad I took the time and tackled this beast. Now I just need to stay on top of things for the month of July so that I can truly say I have it under control.

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