Seriously, when will I learn?????


On Monday, we had meditation and ended up being there from 1 pm to 4:30 pm. We did not eat lunch before hand so we were pretty darn hungry. On the way home we grabbed some dinner. We also stopped at the bakery and picked up cookies and pastries. Very, very hungry. We came home and ate. And ate. And ate. I ate all night long. Unfortunately much of it was junk food, pastries and cookies and such. Tuesday I got up and did not feel like making breakfast, so I decided to go to Starbucks. Latte and yogurt parfait. Luckily I had leftovers that I brought for lunch. Come home, eat some donut holes while I wait for dinner. Hmmm....Wednesday, still not wanting to cook breakfast, I head to Starbucks again. Latte, yogurt parfait, and pumpkin scone. Really???? Had some leftovers again for lunch and it was pretty good. Came home and was really tired. Really. Tired. Took a nap. Had dinner. Ate some pastries. Watched TV. Went to bed. Woke up yesterday, Thursday, and could not get moving. Decided to go to Starbucks, yet again, for breakfast. Latte, yogurt parfait, and pumpkin scone. Are you for real???? Today's lunch was only salad and about 4 oz of steak. Not a whole lot. By the end of the day I was tired. Driving home I was exhausted. Bone weary tired. I came home and took a little nap. Had a pastry. Ate some dinner. Cleaned the kitchen. Watched some TV. The entire time I felt like crap. I was so tired, I was ready for bed at 6 pm. It was horrible. I was seriously wondering if I was coming down with something. I felt like crap. Ended up going to bed by 8 pm and think I immediately fell asleep. I woke up around 2 am and felt really awake, but did not get up until 4:45 am. When I got up, I felt pretty okay. But I decided that food was the issue. I made myself a big breakfast, 3 eggs and 3 sausages, a big lunch; 2 large sausages, peppers, and onions. I also brought some coffee drink with me for the afternoon. I ate well all day. I got home and was tired, but not like yesterday. I did nod off in my chair but that was because I was sitting in here doing nothing. About 5 pm I got up and pulled out an entire pound of ground beef - that was an accident I didn't want that much. I then chopped up peppers, onions, and brussels sprouts and fried everything together. And I ate the whole thing. It was amazing with a little ketchup on it.

So a couple of things to note. Even though I had large meals, I never felt stuffed or overfull like I get with carbs. Even now, I feel full but not stuffed in any way. Also, my energy levels were pretty constant all day long, even though we had a mass to sit through. Finally, I feel pretty good even now. I ate almost 1800 calories and it was all real food; meat and veggies. Food. Food. Food. Why do I keep doing this? Why do I not learn? Why is this something I am doomed to repeat?? Why? Why? Why?

I have also come to the realization that I need to workout. I have gone over a month doing nothing but walking and in the last 2 weeks I have done nothing at all. Time to get moving again. First thing in the morning.

So there you have it, food was the root of all evil. I have got to eat more. I have got to eat well. I have got to eat to fuel not to satisfy my sweet tooth. Lesson learned. Again.

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