Why

Last night I broke down and bought this:

Now mind you, I bought this literally as I was going to bed, downloaded it on my Kindle and laid for almost 2 hours reading it. Their philosophy is not that different from AltShift in that you alternate high carb and low carb days. The issue I have with them is the carbs you eat and the calorie restriction. I know, from my own experience, that eating more actually helps me lose weight. I know that I feel better when I eat more and, if I am consistent, I do start to lean out. My body responds to more food. Maybe because of the years of restriction, I don't know, but more food is definitely the way to go for me.

What I do like, is that they start you out delving into why you want to lose weight. What will be the end result of this process? How will you feel? How will you act? What difference will this make in your life? This really got me to thinking. Why am I doing this? I don't have any real, rock solid, motivation for doing this. I used to. And then I think it just became a habit to be in this mode and that is why I have such a hard time sticking to it. I need to find my motivation, internal or external, and really define it in order to be successful at this. So I think I need to do just that.

Why do I want to do this?

• to feel comfortable with my body
• to not feel like I'm pregnant
• to have the energy for the things I want to do
• to look good in my clothes
• to fit in my clothes
• to be able to go shopping and be afraid to try things on
• to do the things I enjoy; Crossfit, running, biking, etc. 
• to continue to move easily as I get older

What will change if I do this and succeed?

• I will feel better about myself
• I will move easier
• I will be able to do more things
• I will have the energy to do the things I enjoy 

It just hit me. In approximately 18 months, we will be leaving here and embarking on a whole new life. We will be moving to the mainland, buying a house, and an RV. The plan is to travel around the country on my breaks. In order to do that, I will need to be fit and able to move well. That life is the one I am really looking forward to. That life is the driving force behind everything I do now. I think that is my motivation for doing this. I do not want to go to the mainland weighing 200# and having trouble walking distances. I want to be a runner. I want to run in the places we go to. I want to hike in the parts of the country we will be visiting. I want to walk with my dogs through Bryce and Zion Canyons. I want to hike the Grand Canyon. I want to ski in the resorts. I want to drink beer in the pubs along the way. I want to meet people and learn about their lives. I want to be an outgoing, friendly person. I am that when I am feeling fit and healthy. I'm always an introvert, but I'm a loner when I'm heavy. When I'm thinner I am a bit more outgoing and willing to do things. That is it!!!!  All my adult life I have missed out on stuff because of my weight and my introversion. For this next chapter I don't want that to happen. I want to do things, see things, experience things. I want to be friendly and meet all kinds of people. I want to really life the rest of my life. Really live!!!! 

So, I think I found it. If I really want to enjoy the new life that is coming, I need to get ready now. Just like anything, this will take planning and work. I can't just expect to do nothing to prepare and then have the life I want, that will not happen. Oh, wow. Do I feel motivated and inspired. 

I'm going to make a vision board to help me keep these things in mind. I'm going to gather some pictures of hikers and runners in the areas I want to do these things and keep them handy to keep myself going. Oh, you have no idea how inspired I am right now. I think I finally hit on the deep motivation. I'm not completely happy in this life right now, but in order to have the life I want, I will have to work on it. 

Game on!!!!!