13 November 2016


Today I did something I have not done in a long, long time. I went shopping. I have reached a point where I only have a few clothes to wear because I've gained so much weight. I wear the same things to school over and over again. Luckily there are only 4 days and I have about 10 outfits, but still, the same thing over and over and over and over.......... Also, I need some warm clothes. It is getting chilly here and I need some warmer clothes to wear. And finally, I don't own a coat. I don't. I have jackets, but no warm coat. We are going up to the Bay Area for Thanksgiving and it is bloody cold up there. It is 60F there right now. Brrr.... The high was 67F. Ugh!!! So yeah, I needed some new work clothes and some warm clothes for the trip. So I went shopping. And it was hard. But, the good news is, I finally admitted that I am large and I bought clothes that fit. I tried on the pants I bought and they fit so I won't be depressed when they don't. It was rather cathartic to admit I'm fat and to buy my true size. It was freeing in a way. I wonder if that is the key, acceptance. My greatest weight loss successes have always come from a place of love and acceptance. I've never had any luck when I've been I've been negative and depressed. So I think I'm moving into acceptance and with acceptance comes the loss of depression.

As I was writing this last night, I got a call from my nephew. I have not spoken to my nephew in easily 35 years, so it was amazing to hear from him. We will be traveling up and spending Thanksgiving with him and his wife, my brother and sister-in-law, and my other brother and nephew. I'm really excited about this. We have not been together since before I moved to Hawaii. There have been a lot of ups and downs in the process, but we are family and I'm looking forward to seeing them again.

It is now Sunday afternoon. I have built shelves in my closet. Done laundry. And set up my planner for next week. I'm trying to plan my week and keep it reasonable. I like doing yoga in the morning for 15 or 20 minutes, that helps get me going in the morning. I will go to Crossfit every single day. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will do Crossfit. Tuesday and Thursday I will do Core & Stretch. Then in the evenings I will do some work on my dissertation. I have 2 weeks until class starts again and I would love to have something substantial to turn in right away. Then I will focus on Chapter 2 and hopefully Chapter 3. I would love to get this done and ready to go to URB. I just need to buckle down and do it.

Okay, I am finally going to post this.

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