Think I finally got it


Quitting Crossfit took a huge weight off my shoulders. I felt guilty for not going when I pay or it every month. I also felt guilty for not going because then I did nothing else. I would just say, oh I'll go to Crossfit tomorrow. And then never go... So that is great. A huge burden has been lifted. I'm going to start walking on the treadmill today. I figure I'm pretty heavy, the heaviest I've been in 20 years, and possibly the heaviest I've been ever. And as such, I can't look at what I used to do but at what I'm able to do now. I have feet issues, so I need to start slow. And walking is slow. I plan on accumulating at least 30 minutes of walking a day. I may not do it all at once in the beginning, but that's okay. Once I can do 30 minutes consistently, I'll jump to an hour. Once walking is fairly easy, I'll start running. Forward progress, no matter how slow, is still forward progress. I'm also going to add yoga into the mix. Since I no longer have to race to Crossfit after school, I'm going to come home and do yoga. I really want to become good at yoga. Not sure why, but I do. So it feels amazing to have that monkey off my back.

Now, my dissertation. That is something I've been struggling with for a long, long time. So Friday night I decided that was enough. I need to make progress on it and I need to do whatever it takes to make that progress. So I reserved the study room at the library for 2 hours yesterday. I went there at 3 pm and stayed until almost 5 pm and I got stuff done!!! Yay me!!!! I was approaching it all wrong. As usual, I was looking at the forest and could not see the trees. I realized that overall I have a good start, I just need to refine it. So I went through with an open mind and made some notes as I went. Now I'm going to approach it basically one paragraph at a time. I will work to make each individual paragraph as good as possible and then work to join them all together. With what I did yesterday and my new approach I feel very confident that I will get this done. I also have some things I can do at home during the week to move forward. I just need a good way to make notes on the various articles I have. I'm not positive how to do that yet, but I will figure it out. So I'm super optimistic about that.

And that's about it for this morning. I am up early and felt like getting this all down. I found the quote at the top yesterday on Facebook and I felt it was perfect for me. I spent the first few months here still stewing over the as*holes in Hawaii. I realized the other day that I haven't thought about them in quite a while. Also, when I do think about them I don't get angry like I did before. I think about them and laugh. Also, I am looking firmly forward. I have plans for the future and am really looking forward to what life has to offer now that I've left the negative of the past behind me. I'm happy and optomistic and things could not be better.

So I'm off to have a great Sunday.

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