23 June 2017
do things others do? I seriously believe there are a set of basic skills that I am missing. How do I get them? Let's talk a little.
First, I have the hardest times making things a habit. There are a couple of things that I would like to do regularly - daily even - yet I forget all the time to do them. Why, why, why???? I make lists, I make habit trackers, I put things in plain view, and yet I still forget.
Second, why can I not stick to things? Why do I let boredom, or tiredness, or other stupid excuses get in the way of what I want to do? Why, why, why???? Do I not want these things enough???
Third, why can I not follow through on anything? I left this blog in the middle of the post to go play some games. WTF is wrong with me??????
Okay, instead of beating myself up, which is what I want to do, I need to figure out ways around these things. It's not that I can't do these things. I can, when I have the right motivation. I just can't seem to figure out how to get motivated lately. I have a whole list of things that I want to accomplish over the summer, and here the summer is ticking away and I'm not getting those things done. Or at least not the extent that I want. Soooo.....what works for me???
Having a to-do list really works for me, but it has to be a practical list. I can't just put BS stuff on there. So, maybe instead of a habit tracker - which clearly doesn't work for me - a daily to-do list would work. Also, I can't make to-do lists far in advance. I tend to ignore them when I do. But when I was making them at night, before bed, for the next day, that worked for me. Doing it right before bed set it in my mind and I woke thinking about it. When I fill the things in my planner for the week, I remember for one day then forget the rest of the week. Okay, this is good. I literally have 5 post it notes with to-do lists on my desk and I have done none of them. But I sat down and wrote these lists last week and the week before. Okay, things are starting to click for me here. When I feel like I have too much to do, when I feel overwhelmed and stressed, I do nothing. And then when I make these huge lists, I feel that overwhelmed feeling. Same thing when I complete my planner in advance. Oh my god. I think I may have hit on the real problem. I say I work best under pressure, but I don't like to work under pressure. This is why I write in here because I get so caught up in my own head and my own nonsense, I can't sort it out. Writing helps me sort it out.
Okay, so I think I have it. I will stop with the habit trackers and the massive to-do lists, in fact, I'm going to throw the ones I have away right now. Done. Gone!!! So, here's what I will do today. I will make a short to-do list of what I want to do to get moving on my lesson planning. That's the other thing...I try to do too much...I was lesson planning earlier and I was trying to do chemistry and AP Chem and AP Bio and conceptual science. I felt like I was getting completely overwhelmed and couldn't get anything done the way I want. So I'm going to make a short to-do list for the rest of the day. I will work on getting one course organized. One course. Okay, I feel so much better now. I swear, I can be my own worst enemy sometimes.
Wow, real and true relief. I know realize that it's not that I can't do that stuff, I just have to work within my parameters. I can't do it someone else's way, I have to do things my way. You have no idea how much better I feel now. So every night I will sit and plan the next day. I can do that.
Later that night: So I did what I said I would, made a short to-do list, and I got them done. Wow. When you work within the boundaries it's amazing how things work out. So we went out to dinner, a late anniversary celebration, and we took some pictures. What I have come to terms with is that I am huge. Huge. I don't know what I weight since I haven't weighed myself in weeks and I've been sitting around doing nothing. I have to change this too. I don't like the way I feel. I have got to get a grip on this. I need to workout. I need to watch my eating. I need to get a handle on these things. So, time to set this in motion too. Going to add workouts to my to-do list for every night and just make it work. I just have to. Starting tomorrow with a walk in the morning.
Just because I understand something and know why things are happening, doesn't mean I can stop them from happening. Evidence this pas...
The muscles used in pull-ups: The muscles used in push ups: The muscles used in a kettlebell swing: That is what I have, a seriousl...
I am walking on my treadmill at the moment. It is 5:30 a.m. and I really want to do another 5 minutes or so. I started my 2nd week of WW o...
My foot hurts. Specifically my left foot hurts on the inside of the heel, it's almost the Achilles tendon but not quite. Right there w...