03 March 2018

Sleep



Sleep is something I do really, really well. I have always taken pride in the fact that I can sleep anywhere at anytime. Not only that, I have tapped into my circadian rhythms and can usually set a mental 'alarm' that wakes me up when I want to get up. Sleep has never really been an issue for me. 

But, this week it has. Now I know some of it is the money issue. We have been going along with tons of money and suddenly this month, we have some huge bills due. Now many of these are one and done type of bills; car registration, renew subscriptions, etc. Another one is a short-term bill that will only last a few months. So it's really not a huge problem, but they are all due or starting this month and that is stressful. So I know that is part of the problem. The other part is that I have a bug up my ass to get another dog. There are a number of reasons for that and some of them I think I'm not quite openly admitting. 

Reason one is that I started hiking. I really like hiking. I don't really like hiking alone. I get nervous when I'm alone. I've taken Lola with me a few times, but quite honestly, she's 9 and can't go the way she used to when she was younger. After an hour or so she's done. And Bella can't go more than 30 minutes or so, so she's not going to be a hiker. So there's that. 

Reason two, which is something I haven't admitted out loud or to anyone else, is I think Lola may not be around for much longer. She has slowed down considerably in the last few months. She gets lumps like crazy. She snores like a freight train. She seems to be losing her hearing. And her brother has been gone for 2 years. I just don't think she will be with us much longer at all. Now granted that still may be a couple of years, but I'm beginning to see the end. At least I think so. 

Reason three kind of goes along with reason two, maybe a new dog will bring new life into these two. We got Lola and Axl because Rocco was alone and going downhill. We thought they would help him live a little longer. It didn't work out, but we got these two out of it. So maybe a new dog with mix things up a little and give these old girls a little spark. 

Now, having said all that, there is one thing weighing on my mind about this whole thing. The HOA. The CCR's clearly state you can only have 2 dogs, 2 cats, or 2 birds. So I am a little worried about that. Now how anyone would know we have this extra dog is unclear. We walk them at 5:30 in the morning and see very few people. Or we take them to the dog park in the car and no one can see them. Our fence is a 6' solid concrete block structure that no one can really see through or over. Also, our dogs don't live outside, they live inside so no one really sees them. The only way people will see them is when Hubby walks them to meet me in the afternoons. Even then, we hardly see anyone at all on those walks. Plus, we can always say we are watching it for a friend. I hate that that clause exists and I hate that I read it. But, I think we can work around that. And honestly, I'm not sure we will have 3 for much longer. It is horrible to think that, but it's kind of true. Also, we've had 3 dogs forever. We had Mana, Nala, and Rocco. We had Axl, Lola, and Bella. 3 dogs seem to be our thing. But for all my bravado and bolstering, I'm really not a rule breaker. I like to follow the rules and wish everyone else would too. Now that I write it all out, that is what is weighing on my mind. What happens if we get caught? Do we have to get rid of the dog? Do we have to move? Do we get fined? What????

So this has led to 2 nights this week where I did not sleep well. I tossed and turned. I was awake on and off thinking about this. I'm not sure what to do or how to settle it in my mind. I just read the CCR's again and it says a reasonable number of animals, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, and no more than 6 animals total. So I'm really thinking this will be okay. I'm not asking anyone and I'm not bringing it up to anyone. 

So that's where I'm at. Don't know what I'm going to do. Give up my dream of a hiking buddy? Or break the rules? Either way I have to get over this sleeplessness. 

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