26 August 2018

Completely off the rails

Over the summer I let my life go completely off the rails. I stopped walking. I stopped cleaning the house. I stopped focusing on my health. I stopped prepping my planner. I stopped worrying about the food I ate. I stopped paying attention to the bank account or my spending. I stopped just about everything that made me feel like me. I figured once school started again I would get right back into the routines. It's proving harder than I thought. In fact, I have fallen into my old routines. I worked very hard to get in the mode of planning ahead in school so I didn't spend every night and every morning figuring out what the heck I was doing. Well, that's what I've been doing lately. I have been eating pretty much anything I want regardless of shift. Friday night I ate about 6 snickerdoodles and a giant cupcake for dinner. Last night I had a drink. A sweet drink. Not to even mention the candy and chips I've been eating all week.  Awesome. I had to spend about 3 hours cleaning house yesterday because I hadn't cleaned it in weeks. It was gross. And walking and mediation have completely fallen by the wayside. I haven't meditated in around 2 weeks and if I hit 7,000 steps a day I'm excited. This all has to change. And it has to change now. The thing is, I'm in a far better mindset to do these things and yet I'm not even trying to do them. It is time to change that.

I have already meditated today and I'm going to move that back to the mornings. Morning meditation just works better for me. I'm going to start walking to school regardless of the temperature. It's only in the 80's or 90's in the mornings and I can walk in that. I'm also going to get a whole lot stricter with the food. Sleep has been okay but it can be better, so that is on my list also. I've been stretching my bedtime but I'm going to focus on going to bed at 8pm every single night.

I needed to purge myself of this nonsense. I've been using the weather as an excuse and it's time to let it go. If the football team and my girls in volleyball can go out and run a lap in the 3pm heat, I can certainly walk to school. Time to grow up and face the truth. Excuses are like buttholes. Everyone's got one and they usually stink. I'm off to be an adult.

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