Acting like a 4 year old

 

That's been me this past week or 10 days or so. I was kind of fed up with my lifestyle (as I talked about in the last post) and needed to change something. So I decided that since I have been working on my self-care and learning not to beat myself up over things, I could go back to my old lifestyle. My logic was that I was thinner then and had more energy so now that I don't beat myself up I could do that and be happy. Sounds good in theory. But it eventually led to cookies. Many. Many. Cookies. In the course of like 2 days. I feel like crap. Ugh!!! Also, I feel greasy and fat. My stomach feels huge. Please note, I'm not making judgements here, just stating facts as I see them. I didn't work out last weekend but 1 day. I'm struggling to get my 10,000 steps in. And I've been eating with abandon. I have finally come to the realization that this cannot continue. 

First, my not making my 10,000 steps a day is really bringing me down. The only day this week that I made it, I was completely exhausted by the end of the day and my legs and feet were killing me. So I've decided to lower my goals and work my way up to 10,000. I've reset my goal to 7500 steps. Once I can make those (and I should be able to regularly) for 2 weeks I will then increase it to 8000 and so on. That way I will build up slowly and be successful at it. 

Next, in spite of the junk I've been eating, I've had really good energy levels recently. I think that when I watch what I eat I don't get enough food. So I need to stay away from the cookies but I also need to eat enough so that I have enough energy to get through my day. 

Finally, I need to work out regularly. The only days I have available to workout are Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and so I need to work out on those days. Every. Day. I will be walking Mavy every day after work, so that's good, but I need to get into the habit of working out on the weekend. I've been trying to get this habit going for 6 months and haven't got it going yet, so this is going to be my focus every single weekend. 

In my defense, I do things like this every once in a while. I will rebel against whatever I've been doing and think I can do it better. It never works, but I guess I need to let my inner child out every once in a while. 

So now that's over, it's time to get back to serious work again.