10 April 2022

Goals, no goals?

 I came across a statement the other day that has been rolling around the back of my mind. It went something like, what if we were enough? What if what we did was enough? What if we accepted things and appreciated things that we had and that was good enough? That sort of struck a chord with me because that is something I've been working on really hard. Being present in the moment and being grateful for what I have. No chasing some elusive dreams or desires that are either unobtainable or completely worthless once I get them. Being in the now and being happy with it. 

For a large part of my adult life I felt like I was chasing something. More money, more fitness, more happiness, whatever. But I felt like I was always looking for the next best thing. I felt like if I wasn't chasing something I was wasting my time. Complete and total free time made my skin crawl. I always had to be doing something. It slowly came to me that I didn't have to 'chase' anything. I had already 'caught' a lot of what I was looking for. I had a house I absolutely loved. I had a job I loved. I have some good friends. I have my health. Yeah, there wasn't really anything more I needed to chase. I could still work on improving the things I did have, but that was not a race and just a general growth as a person. I realized that I was happy and I realized what happy really was. Happy isn't a feeling of joy or elation or anything like that. Happy is really the lack of worry. I had worked myself into a position where I didn't have to worry about too much and that is true happiness. It took me almost 60 years to realize that, but I finally have and it's nice. 

So I'm not chasing anything anymore. I'm working on improving things, but I'm not chasing some elusive goal that really will never be mine. And things are good. Now, do I have goals? Yes, but they are completely reasonable and manageable. They tend to revolve around my real life and not some imaginary life I think I will have once I reach those goals. I want to be a better teacher. The last few years have been hard and taught me a lot about myself as a teacher, so I want to improve that. I want to regain and maintain my optimum health. That means losing some body fat and becoming stronger. I'm on it. I want to improve myself constantly and I do that with self-improvement books. 

So yeah, I have goals, but they are all much more grounded in reality now. And the truth of the matter is that I'm happy with my life. Very, very happy. 

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