16 December 2022

I'm down and not sure how to get back up

 There has been some changes to my routine. I still get up and go to work, but as we are nearing the end of the semester instead of teaching we are prepping for final exams. That means that I actually don't do much during classes. I gave them a study guide and they worked on that, only asking me questions when they ran into trouble. They had a Blooket game to play, which I don't need to be involved in. So that leaves me a lot of down time during class. Now the same thing is going to happen next week as they take the exams. I will be watching them - fun stuff - and there will not be much for me to do. As a result of all this down time, I have spent an unusually high amount of time on my computer. I have been cruising my FB groups for lasers. Reading things. Saving things. And generally getting ideas on what I want to do. But that is a lot of computer time. I consider myself to be on the computer a lot, but it's been a crazy amount this week. As a result I feel very down. Very. Down. I have no real energy to speak of. I don't want to do anything. I'm feeling physically lazy. It's really bad. I was afraid that I was not getting enough sleep because of the crafting, so I stopped crafting in the evenings. The last 2 days I came home and walked Mavy. Then sat my ass on the couch coloring. Last night I came in here and played a game for 2 hours. This is not good. Not. Good. At. All. So I'm here to switch things up. 

My plan for today is to stay home while Hubby goes to work for a few hours. I was going to go, but I think my mental health is more important than getting work done. So I'm staying home. I will shower, walk Mavy, and then go to the gym for a workout. After that, the plumber is supposed to be coming to do an inspection of our system. I will work on my laser and crafts until Hubby gets home. Then we have to go to lunch and Costco. Funny how I wrote that, 'have to go to lunch'. I will spend some time crafting today as I need to get some stuff made to get in the mail. I also need to make Christmas gifts for some of my students. I'm thinking about making some stuff for the seniors. Not because I particularly like them, but mainly for the practice. Anyway. Tomorrow I have to work the play so we will go out to lunch before that and then I will work the play and come home. Sunday is football and that's all I need to say about that. So I think this weekend I will try doing more things, not so much FB scrolling, and actually getting out in the world and see how that works. 

Someone on my group mentioned that this could be a bit of seasonal affective disorder. Initially I thought, no way. But the more I thought about it the more I think it may be possible. I go to work and it's dark out. I work all day on the 4th floor of a building and never get outside. By the time I do get out the sun is heading downward. I get home and walk Mavy and it's near sunset. I haven't been in our yard all week, at least. Plus add to that the cold which makes me want to stay inside and I think they might be on to something. So this weekend I will make an effort to spend more time outside. I'll go sit in the yard for a while, I love that. I'll walk Mavy when the sun is up. I'll give it a go and see if anything changes. I only have one more week of school and if I can figure this out, I will survive. 

No comments:

Finding my Why

 I believe that this is my biggest hurdle to mastering self-care. I don't have a huge, overriding why. I don't. I have a number of t...