The Light Goes On...
Let's see if I can make sense of this. There may be a lot of random stuff so get a cup of coffee, sit down, and relax - here goes.
I've been working at Walgreen's for about a month now. Mostly I work the register up front so I get to see what people are really buying. In that month I have learned a few things. Namely, people eat way, way too much processed food. Also, our tax dollars are paying for that processed food in the form of food stamps (or whatever it's called now). I will see people come through and buy $80 - 90 worth of soda, candy, chips, junk, and pay with their EBT card. WTF?!?!?!?! The government provides this service to people in need so they don't starve. Well guess what?? They are starving if that's what they eat. That stuff is not nutritious and will kill you and not just from weight, though the vast majority of them are obese. This may be horrible to say, but by seeing those people, the condition they are in and the things they buy, it makes me want to eat healthier and be more active because I don't want to be like them. Sad but true. I get a lot of people who think I'm younger than I am. I like that and I want it to stay that way. The only way I can do that is by taking care of myself through diet and exercise. This has caused me to really look at what I'm eating and to consider it carefully. As a result the last few days have been considerably better food wise. So there's that.
Then the other day I just got a bug up my ass over my activity, or lack thereof. I wrote a whole post on it here. On that day I started couch to 5k and I did Week 1/Day 1. That involved 8 intervals of 60 secs running/90 secs walking, with a 5 min warm up and cool down. What freaking agony, but I shuffled my way through it. Today I did Week 1/Day 2 and what a difference. I was able to run, actually run, during the running intervals. Nothing hurt and I really felt great the whole time. On Friday I felt like I wasn't even breathing hard, today I definitely was. Awesome. And there's that.
As I was running/walking today I remembered how good it feels - cuz it felt good. I remember feeling that way most of the time when I took care of myself. I really want to feel that way again. I want to go through my day feeling great. So I need to focus there. Instead of worrying about the scale and how many calories I'm eating, etc. I'm going to shift it up a little. I'm going to focus on feeling good. Moving my body and eating right. I will watch what I eat but not get obsessed over how much meat I'm having. I'm going to pay more attention to my body and feed it what it needs.
So the food thing is a crazy, vicious cycle. When I eat sugar and fat, I want sugar and fat. That's all. I crave desserts and cakes. Cookies are not safe in my company. It is terrible. It's also a terrible feeling. I feel out of control when I get into that mode. The hunger is not normal, it's demanding and must be satisfied immediately. The flip side is, when I eat lots of protein, fruits and veggies, I feel awesome. I get hungry but I can live with it and take the time to make good choices. It takes less to fill me up and I stay fuller longer. All of this these are good things and I need to remember them. I also need to not eat on impulse. I need to think about it for 15-20 minutes before I eat junk food.
Well, I have no idea if this makes any sense to anyone but me but I'm okay with that. Bottom line is, I'm going to make next year my year. I'm going to use the rest of this year to get back into the workout habit. I'm going to run and I'm going to take care of myself. I do not want to end up like those folks I see at work.