03 September 2011

Definitely going to do it this time

I am off!!! I am going to workout and track my food. I am absolutely going to do this. This is freaking ridiculous. I've been doing this same dance for a couple of years now and it's getting absolutely insane. I watch the Biggest Loser when it's on and one of the things they keep telling the contestants is that they have to believe they are worth it. Worth the time, energy, etc. I think that's wrong. I don't think you have to believe you are worth it, but you have to believe you're capable. Almost everyone is capable of almost anything, yet not believing you can do something holds you back and complicates life. That's what I've been doing. Holding myself back and making things more complicated. So things are changing. Starting right here and now. I am not going to doubt myself. I am going to believe in myself. I am not going to use excuses. I am going to accomplish. No more!!! It ends now...... Okay, I'm off to workout.,

02 September 2011

I can be an idiot

Seriously!! I can be such a moron sometimes it absolutely amazes me. I have been struggling to get back into the workout routine. I have had trouble waking up in the morning and coming home at night and being just exhausted. I have been beat. I keep thinking that if I just get some more sleep I would feel better and have the energy to workout. So I've been trying to get more sleep. That amounts to naps when I get home from work and going to bed earlier and earlier. Not that I'm getting up any earlier...in truth I'm getting up later and later. I've also been avoiding getting back into the dog walking habit because I've been tired. I have been so tired at times I couldn't tell the difference between silver dollars and quarters, I swear.... Well tonight I decided things would be different. I stopped and got an ice coffee on the way home (I also got some snacks but we won't go there) so I wouldn't fall asleep when I got home. After 15 minutes we walked the big dogs on their long walk. When I got back I cleaned the bird room and then walked Bella. All told I worked for 2 1/2 hours on the animals. And I felt awesome. Totally awesome. I was most definitely ready to relax and take it easy but I was not ready to fall dead asleep. It was then I remembered that energy creates energy. By being active and energetic I was creating more energy and therefore not feeling so tired. What does this all mean? I need to force myself. I need to drag myself out of bed in the morning and workout. I need to walk the dogs and clean the bird room and not lay around on my fat ass. In all honesty I've been trying to figure out why I've gained so much weight and I think I finally get it. I just need to move more.... A whole lot more.

01 September 2011


This is a test grom my taet.

Where dors the time go

Well, I let the whole week slip away. I was telling myself all day that I would workout tonight but when I got home it just didn't happen. I have a really hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Once I'm up I'm fine, but getting up is the problem. So I have to come up with a tactic that will get me up in the morning. I'm not sure what it is but I have to come up with something. So tomorrow I try again. It's Friday, and easy day to get excited about because, well...it's Friday. So give it another go tomorrow. If I could get up tomorrow and work out, then I know I could do it Saturday and Sunday because I don't have to be to work until 9. Monday I know I could do it because I have off. I'd have 4 days of working out under my belt and the beginning of a routine forming. So that's my goal for tomorrow - get up and work out.

31 August 2011

How'd it get to be Wednesday already?

Last week I had all these plans to "start over" to get everything organized and hit the ground running on Monday. Yeah, that didn't happen. I'm not sure what exactly went wrong but something did. I haven't been doing very well this week at all. In fact yesterday I was in such a bad mood it actually shocked me. There's a whole lot of stupid sh*t going on at work and yesterday it was just making me crazy. Anyway, the stupid sh*t at work has led me to realize I need to get my act together if I don't want to put up with it anymore.

I was so out of it earlier that I stopped this post and moved on with my life. Well, now I'm back. As I posted over on Flo's Place, I had to admit to some disturbing truths.  I generally feel like I'm inadequate.  Lots of times I feel like I'm an impostor in my own life.  I'm a teacher yet I do not feel like I am qualified to teach. I do a lot of things that I usually feel like I'm just not qualified to do. I feel like I just don't do things well enough.  I don't know if it's self-confidence or what but seriously, these are the thoughts I have. So, what do I do about it?  I tackle something.  I throw myself into something and get something accomplished.  That's just what I did. I cleaned off my desk. I got my plan book done for school. I started to work on what I'm doing next in my classes.  I'm definitely making progress and I'm feeling better. I still feel like an impostor but at least I'm an impostor that's doing something :)

28 August 2011


I love sleep. I love sleeping. I am generally very, very good at sleeping. I can sleep anytime, anywhere for any amount of time. I have the ability to tell myself I will sleep for X minutes and fall asleep and wake up in X minutes. It is awesome. It is a talent I love having and I utilize frequently. There is nothing like taking a 10 minute siesta in the middle of the day at my desk. Seriously, I can do that and wake up feeling awesome. One of my favorite things in the world to do is nap on the weekends. There is something about taking a nap in the middle of the day that is so decadent...I love it. So sleep is something I am really, really good at.

Except for last night. I could not sleep at all. I worked until 10, then came home and went to bed around 10:45. And I was up and down all night. First, I couldn't get comfortable because of the dogs. Then my feet were bothering me, then the rain woke me up. You have to understand, I have slept through all kinds of things that didn't wake me up. Rain should not have been able to do that. Anyway, I'm not feeling it today. It's still rainy so I think it will be a quiet, relaxing day. Probably have a nap or two and head out to work at 2.

Forward progress

One of the many, many things I love about AltShift is the mental part. We don't stop and start the program, we deviate and then get b...