21 February 2008

I've lost focus...

I swear I have adult ADD. Staying focused on something for any length of time is hard for me. It just is. My house is littered with half finished projects. My life is littered with half finished projects. If I want to get something done, I have to focus and pay attention and not let my attention slip for one minute. This is one of the reasons why working out with the iPod works so well for me. If there's nothing to listen to my mind will wander all over the place and I'll think of something more important to do and then I'll be anxious to finish and probably cut the workout short. With the iPod part of my mind is constantly occupied with music or podcasts. Another part of my mind is on what I'm doing and things then get done. I just realized that's why on the weekends I really enjoy cleaning house. It's the time I get to catch up on my soaps. Oh, I get it. That also explains why I can't sit and read without falling asleep. Only one thing going on, I get bored.

Because of this, working on anything like fitness or training can get weird. I have to focus but not all at once. I have to focus in the morning. Then stop. Then I have to focus again later. Then stop. It gets hard. I have to have a mental dialog with myself a lot!! If I'm going to run after work, all day long I will say to myself, "I will run after work. I will run after work....." If I don't do this I'll be distracted by the nearest shiny object and it's all over. Well, I've lost my focus a little recently. I'm getting the workouts in but the intensity and passion isn't there because I've mentally moved on to the next task. I wish I knew how to battle this but, in all these years, I have never been able to get rid of it completely. It's a constant battle.

So I'm going to tweak my training a little to include intensity. I'm also going to take 10 minutes every night before I go to bed and do two things. First, review the day and see how I did. Second, get mentally ready for the next day. I try to do this 10 minutes but have a terrible habit of blowing it off. I tell myself I'll do it in the morning. And then I don't. So I'm going to make those 10 minutes the most important 10 minutes of the day. In my mind I'm going to make them huge. The key to my success or failure. Because as silly as it sounds, it's true.

On another topic, it seems my husbands family is sitting around waiting for my brother-in-law to pass away. He's had lung cancer for years and the other day developed pneumonia. The docs gave him a day or so. So it looks like hubby will be taking a trip to the mainland for the funeral. Maybe I should investigate some tsa locks for his luggage. We'll see what happens.

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