21 January 2012

Conquering fears and being a loser

8 weeks ago today I crashed on my bike. It was pretty bad and I was in a lot of pain for awhile. Of course, all things considered it was not a bad crash at all which is what scares me. If I was in that much pain for that long and that wasn't a bad crash.....what would a bad crash be like? It took a long time for some of the injuries to heal. I have a scar on my arm that was probably the worst injury and I'm sure it will be there forever. For the last month or so I've been wanting to get back on my bike. But every week I find an excuse; it's too hot, it's too cold; it's rainy; it's windy,I overslept, etc. The truth of the matter was, I was scared. I was afraid to ride again because I was afraid to crash. My little crash caused a whole lot of pain, I didn't want to take the chance and have a worse crash. So I've been finding reasons excuses not to and that wasn't hard at all. Well, this morning I found myself wide awake at 5:30 am. It was not windy and there was only a little, morning rain. None of my excuses would fly this morning. So I got ready, got my bike out, and headed off to Weight Watchers. It was scary going I tell you. But I took my time, rode very conservatively, and it was great. I didn't take my mind off what I was doing for one second. I was so focused it was insane. But I did it. When I was getting near the intersection where I crashed I started getting a little anxious, but I went through it no problem. I do have to say that I did things I felt were safe but were not necessarily following the bike laws. I used some crosswalks to cross streets when I didn't feel comfortable going with traffic. I rode on the sidewalks a couple of times. But I was careful and safe and I'm glad I finally did it and my fear has been conquered.

Now, as for being a loser, I am :) I was down 1.2 lbs. Yeah!!! Considering the week I had, this really surprised me. I haven't worked out all week. Eating was not the best it could be, but I'm getting really intuitive about the eating. I did have dessert one night but basically I eat decent amounts during the day and stop eating dinner when I'm full. Some nights that's a lot of food and other nights it's just a little. The point is I'm paying attention and able to realize that I'm full and stop. When I do that I do not feel stuffed and bloated. And apparently it's paying off. Down 1.2 lbs Woo Hoo!!! Now this week I'm definitely going to track and work on getting my workouts in. I'm going to get up in the mornings and do my bootcamp even if I only get one round done. It's better than nothing. A girl at WW today said she gets and hour exercise every morning no matter how early she has to get up. Hmmmm....maybe I need to shift my thinking....

Time to take control

After I wrote my post the other day it came to me that I'm not in as much control as I like to think I am. I was letting life and responsibilities get in the way of what I want to do. I was worrying about everything else and not about me. Wow! That's a huge change. When I first started WW and they would talk about how people with weight problems have a hard time saying NO. How they put everyone else's needs before their own and that ends up being part of the problem. Heck, they even talk about it on Biggest Loser. Anyway, I used to say that I don't do that. I take care of myself and do what I want to. It wasn't completely true then and now I've fallen further into the habit of taking care of everything else and ignoring me.

Some things I've noticed lately. I don't workout at night because we have to walk the dogs and I don't want to delay dinner too long. I don't workout in the morning because I don't have time because I've gotten into my head that I need to be at school by 6:30 - a full hour before I have to be there. I don't workout on weekends a lot because we have things to do and I don't want to delay hubby. I don't eat as well as I should all the time because Hubby makes dinner and I don't want to tell him what to do or make. Really???? Who is this person and where did they come from? I don't know but it's time to kick her butt to the curb.

It's 6:30 right now. I'm going to get my bike out and ready and I'm riding to WW. After that I'm going to carefully ride to the racquet club and check out the happenings over there - big national tournament starting tomorrow. Then I will ride home shower and clean up this room. Once that is all done I will get some work done on my thesis - that is starting to become critical. I will work out later and we will walk the dogs. I will consider it a good day if I fall into bed exhausted tonight. Tomorrow it will be more of the same only with football thrown in - the 9ers are playing :)

19 January 2012

Moving at the speed of light....

That's what I feel like anyway. I have been working hard and working to keep on top of everything and not let things slip. It's only the first cycle and I can already see where things can go wrong. I've been going in early and getting things ready. I have to admit that I haven't been doing anything at home at night. That is step one into changing my routine.

So I'm this huge advocate of choices. There is always a choice - Always!! You give me any situation and I will show you a choice. You may not like the options but they are always there. So why am I lamenting my own choices so much lately? Back to school and I'm tired and drained at the end of the day. I can't force myself to get up in the morning and by evening I'm wiped out. I want to workout, at least I think I do. I know that I don't want to feel the way I do and look the way I do. Wait! I think I just hit on something. My motivation is from the negative. That never works for me. My motivation has to come from a positive side or it just doesn't work for me. My motivation has to be things like, I want to feel better, I want to run faster, hell I just want to run, I want to not be so tired, I want to be fit and trim. I heard Oprah once say, what you resist persists, and it is so true. If I focus on the negative I will stay stuck where I am. I need to shift my view and focus on the positive. I know this in every other area of my life, why can I not get it together in terms of health and fitness? What is wrong? Okay, nothing, I just need to break old habits. Course it would be a whole lot easier if I was trying to do motor home repair, but I can do this.

Start small. One step at a time, just continue to make forward progress.

15 January 2012

New Shoes

Sometimes a new item will inspire me to get moving again. I don't do it often, but every once in a while I buy something new for my workout.

Yesterday I discovered I had a $25 coupon for Sports Authority and it expired yesterday. I had to go spend it, didn't I? Hate to see $25 go to waste. So I headed over to see what I could find. Being on the larger size I tend to go through shoes quickly. Also, with no cartilage in my right knee, as soon as the cushioning wears down a little I can feel it. So I figured I would take a look at the shoes on sale.

I ended up getting the ones in the picture. I have not owned Nikes in years and years. I wore them today and I like them. Doing a boot camp workout in my running shoes was okay but it's better in these....

Okay, I had a long, insightful post planned but I walked away in the middle to do laundry and now I've lost it. If it comes back to me I'll be back to finish this. If not, oh well.....

Forward progress

One of the many, many things I love about AltShift is the mental part. We don't stop and start the program, we deviate and then get b...