20 June 2009

Mental Gymnastics

I know I've done this before, probably a thousand times, but I just don't understand why it doesn't stick. As I was working out just now a couple of things hit me. First, I really workout much better if someone is telling me what to do. That is why I like workout videos so much. I don't push myself if it's just me, but if someone, even a voice on a podcast, is telling me what to do I do it. And I try hard. So that led to the decision that, as much as I hate groups, I'm going to join a training group for the Honolulu Marathon. I really want to complete it, as it will be my last one, and knowing that I follow others better then myself I will join a group. So there is that, a decision I kind of hate but it makes sense for me.

Second, I struggle so much with losing weight and I'm not quite sure why. Again, as I was working out, I thought about it and wondered why it's so hard for me. Then I thought about getting my teaching job. I set out with the absolute knowledge that I would get a job teaching science. I knew that deep in my soul. I knew it would happen. So I did the things necessary to make it happen. I sent out resumes, filled out applications, contacted people. It took me 6 months but I did it. I landed a job teaching science, while a lot of teachers are getting laid off due to budget cuts. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that it would happen and it did. Why can't I have that mindset with weight loss? When doubts about me getting a teaching job crept into my thoughts I would immediately brush them away. When doubts about my losing weight creep into my thoughts I agree with them. Clearly, the last battlefront is in my mind.....

Still tired

I felt pretty good yesterday until around noon, then I became incredibly tired again. This is not a normal tired. This is a tired where your bones feel tired. I don't know what is causing it but I would like it to stop now. By 9 pm I could hardly keep my eyes open and I was yawning so hard I thought I was going to dislocated my jaw. What the heck is going on??? I don't know but I will keep trying to battle it. I know it will take a few days for the proper eating to kick in and work so I'm holding out hope on that. Plus I'll keep up the workouts and hope things turn around soon. Right now, even though I've only been up for an hour, I feel like I could take a nap. That is so not good.

19 June 2009


Benson, you were right. I think a large part of the exhaustion is mental strain and part is my eating. That has been crap lately. Not that I've been eating junk, I just haven't really been eating. So I'm sure that's a large part of the problem. It will take a little time to fix that, eating well today will be a big step in the right direction, but the activity I can fix immediately. I went and did a strength workout and a cardio workout and I feel fabulous. The mental fog has lifted some. I just feel really good. So regardless of what's going on in your life, get out there an move your butt!!!

So tired...

Not sure what's going on but I have just been exhausted the last couple of days. I'm getting up in the morning and taking the dogs out then going to school and teaching for 2 hours. Coming home, going to class at night. None of those things are particularly taxing so I'm not sure why I'm so tired. Unless it's the mental strain I'm under. I've been working on my thesis proposal, lesson plans for fall, things like that. Maybe it's the mental strain. I just know I'm tired.....I just got home from class and I'm off to bed now....

16 June 2009

Time rapidly disappeared

I'm not sure what happened but it did... Last week it seemed I had all the time in the world. This week I'm already going crazy and it's only Tuesday.

I took the dogs hiking this morning. Because of my schedule I won't be able to take them to the dog park during the week so I thought I would take them hiking in the morning. They like that a lot. So we went this morning and it was gorgeous. It was just before 7 and the birds were waking up, the forest was still cool from the night, and there was no one else there. Hiking that hour on a weekday almost guarantees you'll be all alone. So I think that will be a great thing to do early in the morning.

Other then that I have nothing to say. I started teaching yesterday and it totally bombed, but I don't feel like going into it now. I have to get ready and head out to school. I'm going to get there and get set up for the day. After class I'm heading to the beach for a little swim, then at 3:30 I have my class to go to. What a fun day :)

14 June 2009

I've been thinking

Yesterday at WW we were talking about working out and why it's so hard. Basically why it's so easy to fall out of the habit of working out when it's so hard to keep the habit going. Some of the answers that came up were the typical; you have to make it non-negotiable; there's only so many hours in a day and so much to do; it's easier to not workout then to workout; etc. Nothing we all haven't heard or said before. It is a matter of changing your mindset but it's not easy and it is far too easy to change back. Anyway, one of the things that came up was the fact that we need to take time for ourselves, put ourselves first. I immediately thought to myself that I don't have any kids and there's really no one I put before myself. Ding!!! Wrong!!! Thanks for playing our game. It hit me. I put the animals first. I structure my life and my day around the animals. I get up at a certain time just to feed the birds. I will work on the computer just to keep Sammy company. I make 2 hours blocks in my day to take the dogs to the dog park. I will not want to be out at certain times because it's the dogs dinner time or some such nonsense. There is someone I put ahead of myself I just didn't realize it. Wow!! I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it. I'm not gone that long when I workout so I think all the animals will be just fine, but I need to change my mindset. Yes, they prefer when I'm around but they won't shrivel up and die if I'm not. Hmmm, interesting.... Something to think about.....

Completely out of control

What is it with me and free time? I had last week off and things literally spiralled completely out of control. I've lost track of the...