14 March 2017

LIfe goes on

I've come to love the "On this day" feature of Facebook. Especially when it is a time that something was happening. 7 years ago today we moved into the Kaneohe house. That was a crazy, crazy time. And it was an exciting, amazing time. We had bought our first house, something we never thought we'd be able to afford in Hawaii. It was awesome. Met some really nice people, Eddie and Ella who lived above us and the guy who lived down the street who did all the carving. Then we met some complete assholes, no names needed. We had some really good times and some not so good times there. For a long time it was a real struggle to make it, but we did. That house provided us with the means to make the mainland move and seriously, that made it all worth it. Life is so funny. I always think about what if...... What if we didn't buy that house? What if we didn't have those neighbors? What if we decided to move to the mainland earlier? What if..... I really am a firm believer that life works out the way it's supposed to, which may not be the way you want it to. I believe that we all have free will, but I also believe that we are drawn to certain paths in life. Following those paths makes life somewhat easy, life is never really easy. But fighting those forces leads to all kinds of problems in life. I see people who struggle constantly and I always wonder what kind of choices are they making? Seriously? I also see people who say there are no options, and that is never true. There are always options, but some are definitely better than others. Lord knows I have made some poor choices in my life, but I like to think I'm aware of what the universe is trying to tell me. So it all comes down to choices and to following the right path. It's not easy, but it is doable.

So today we are heading to Tombstone. I'm excited. I'm always excited to see areas I've only read about. I'm a bit of a history nerd, so this is awesome. The finance guy from the dealership called last night and said we need to stop by in the morning to sign some papers. Old habits die hard, and I immediately flipped into my, what if he's going to take the car back mode. I felt my blood pressure increase and my stomach get all knotted up. I had to stop and just breathe. I realized that it is absolutely ridiculous to think that. A) if it happens there is nothing I can do to stop it so why worry. B) if it happens, we will figure out a way around it. And C) they do not want to take this car back now, that's the last thing they want. So I took a few deep breaths and got over myself. So we need to make a trip slightly north before we start to head south.

That's really all I have to say today. I have realized that I did a whole lot of my worrying and freaking out here. I'm wondering how much I'll use it now that I have a newfound attitude? Maybe it will go back to what it started as,a health and fitness blog :)

12 March 2017

A subtle shift

After or accident last Saturday, I was shaken up as you might well imagine. But not near as shaken up as I thought I'd be. I was, and am, incredibly thankful to be alive. When I think about what could have happened I just shudder. But I have noticed a mild shift in my mindset since the accident. I have noticed that I am much more appreciative of things. Everything. I find that I don't anger as quickly. I am finding joy in almost everything. And I am living in the moment - something I'm not great at. I find I did not get frustrated with my class all week, which is very unusual as I was ready for break and they were squirrely. I'm not getting angry at Hubby as much either. I had reached a point where little things were irritating me all the time. That is gone. I am really and truly thankful for surviving that crash and for everything in my life. I am also extremely present in my everything and make decisions based on the now and not the future. Not even sure I said that right, but let's use an example. Yesterday we went to the AZ Aloha Festival. Now usually at these types of things, I'm good for about an hour and then I start to space out and want to go. Also, I am constantly looking beyond where we are. I'm looking at the next aisle or the next thing or whatever. And standing in line for food??? Forget about it. I go nuts. But yesterday was extremely different. I was not in a rush to get through the place. I took my time looking at all the Hawaiian stuff for sale. I stood in line for like 20 minutes to get some poke and it didn't bother me. I didn't get frustrated or grumpy or anything. I just enjoyed the sights, sounds, and atmosphere of Hawaii. It was awesome. When we came home, I was hot and tired and made the conscious decision to lay on the couch and watch a little TV. When I got up, I didn't feel like I had missed anything or that I had wasted my time. I realized that I was constantly living in some other time, all the time. I was either thinking about the past, recent or distant, or thinking about the future. Because of that, I could not enjoy the moment I was in. That sucked. But since the accident, I have been very present in every moment. I see now that living in the moment gives you a reason and a purpose to living. If you are constantly thinking about some other time, there is no joy in right now. But right now is extremely joyful most of the time. I love being present for my dogs. I love being present for Hubby. So while it is important to plan for the future, there is no point in trying to live there before it happens. Being a firm believer in karma, I've been trying t figure out why this accident happened or what the purpose of it was. This may be it. I'm not 100% positive, but it's possible. I'm also proud of my reaction to it. I never once lamented, why me? Never once. It happened. We dealt with it. And we have moved on. Proud of that. Very proud.

We did go out Friday and buy a new van. Initially we were going to buy exactly the same van. Blue, 2016 Grand Caravan. I reserved one at the dealership to test drive. We got there and there were a couple of issues with it. First, it had no center console. This is a problem because a) we have nowhere to put our junk and b) the dogs can get right up front with us. We could have bought one and put it in ourselves. The other problem was not so easily fixed. The rear had no AC vents. Since we are buying this van specifically to travel with the animals in the summer, this would not work at all. And there was no work around for this. I was not comfortable with not having air back there. So we decided to look at some other vans. Well, we found one and I fell in love with the looks. This is it:

The color is called granite crystal. It doesn't have chrome on the front grill, it's all black and the wheels are upgraded. It is also all automatic and the windows in the rear doors roll down!! I don't know of any van that has windows that roll down. Plus it is all leather interior. It is very cool and I fell in love. It was more than I wanted to spend and the monthly payments are a little high, but I'm okay with that. We will make it work. It is super comfy and will be great for traveling around in. Oh, and it has a big center console and AC vents in the back. So it's all good.

Today, I'm going to work on this office area. The rest of the house it pretty well straightened away and is presentable. This area is not. I don't have enough storage and there is crap lying all over the floor. Plus everything is kind of mismatched and it just looks ugly. Plus you see this area when you first walk in so that's not cool at all. So today is the day for this area. On Tuesday we are heading down to Tombstone. Woo Hoo. Excited for that. I have to plan out our itinerary too.

Well, my smart clock got me again this morning. It changes times when daylight savings happens, but we don't do daylight savings in AZ. Woke up and the clock said it was after 6 am. Got up, had coffee, and wrote most of this before I discovered that it wasn't even 6 am yet. Ugh!!! I mean it's okay, I was awake. That clock is just annoying. Oh well, live goes on.

Feel like I've fallen into a hole

For years I lived my life in the 'when'. When I start running again. When I start eating right.... When I do this.... or that......