11 July 2015

Just f*in do it

There is a time to be all soft and nice to yourself and there is a time to kick yourself in the a** and be brutal. I think I have reached the brutal point, at least it worked last night. I have done all these posts about how I'll make this change and that change; how I'll shoot for 3 times a week doing whatever....clearly that has not been working. So it is time to get real. I know what needs to be done and I know how to get it done. I just need to do it. So, here are a few things I WILL be doing today:

  • Not sitting at my computer for more than an hour at a time. I will have a timer open and every time I sit down, I will set it for an hour. When it rings I will go do something else. 
  • I will log everything I eat before I eat it. Normally I wait until after and that seems to not work, so it's before. 
  • I will workout 2x today. I'm going to do Black Fire this morning and do some Zumba type stuff this afternoon. 
That's it. Not terribly hard, just a few things that need to happen. Just f*n do it!!!!!!

10 July 2015


I had to go to the doctor today for an ear infection. As with all doctor visits, I had to step on the scale. That was the number I saw. I can't believe it. I just can't. I'm absolutely speechless.

I started writing this post a few minutes ago and then got sidetracked by something. While i was sidetracked I was thinking about this in the back of my mind. And you know what I came up with? Why am I surprised? Why does this number shock me? I spend more hours sitting than not. Most days I eat like there is no tomorrow. What I should be shocked about is that this number didn't pop up sooner. What kind of cave am I living in? I know what I'm doing, better than anyone, so why am I shocked? Apparently I thought that I could eat with abandon, sit on my ass, and lose weight. It doesn't work that way, who knew?

I think I'm kind of tired of myself. I'm tired of all this trying and failing and trying and failing. F*ck it. Time to get off my ass and just do it. Be like Nike, just do it.

As I sit here typing this, in the back of my mind I'm thinking, I'll have some of the donut holes tonight and start this tomorrow. Bullsh*t. I will start it now. I'm going to take some chicken out of the freezer and make a healthy dinner for myself. As soon as I'm done with dinner, I'm going to brush my teeth and put my night guard in. I'm an adult, I'm in control of myself. I do not need to eat donuts. OMG!!! If I listened to someone talke the way I have been, I would have told them to just suck it up and get over it. Well, guess what? Time for me to suck it up and get over it.

09 July 2015

What a difference.....

Last night I was sitting here feeling fat and unmotivated and generally crappy. Thinking back, I realized that I have not done any kind of workout in 2 weeks. Since I injured my foot 8 weeks ago, workouts have been sporadic and not consistent at all. It was showing in my weight, my food choices, and the way I felt in general. I reached my breaking point last night and realized I had to do something. I really, really want to run but that is out until this foot is 100%. I gave serious consideration to returning to Crossfit. Then I remembered about Black Fire. At the beginning of the summer - before I injured my foot - I wanted to get in 2 workouts a day to kick things up. So I signed up for Daily Burn and the Black Fire workouts. So I went over there and checked them out, have to be careful with this ridiculous foot. The workouts are Crossfit style but only about 30 minutes each and they were moves that would not bother my foot. Burpees, dips, and sit-ups. So I got up at 4:30 and did this workout this morning. It was awesome. I was a wreck by the end. Perfect. I felt amazing when I was done!! This set off a whole string of good things. After my workout, I packed my lunch and made some really great choices. I was in a great mood all day and I had energy to get through a long lab day. I got home and did not want to take a nap, okay maybe a little :)

This got me to thinking. Up until Crossfit, I had always been a morning workout person. I like doing it in the morning for a number of reasons. I get it done before other commitments get in the way. It makes me eat better during the day. I just feel better and have more energy all day. I stick with it more. I like working out in the morning and it feels good to be back at it. So that, tomorrow's Friday, and only one more week of summer school. Yeah, things are looking up.

08 July 2015

Feeling Lighter

It is amazing how when you work to get on top of some things, other things fall into place. I've been on top of the money and keeping my desk clean. My dissertation is starting to fall into place and I think I found a methodologist. Now the real work begins. Then, today I got an email from a headhunter. They are looking for an instructor for University of Phoenix online school for education. I submitted my resume, we'll see what happens. That would be cool. Plus it's $1300 every 9 weeks or so. Cool.

I have quit Crossfit for the foreseeable future. That is a huge stressor removed. I don't feel the pressure to go or the guilt when I don't. That was a smart move. I have been getting up and doing yoga in the morning, just a short routine. I want to do more, but I need to get my ass out of bed earlier. Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting more limber like I used to be. I'm also looking forward to running again. I signed up for the Great Aloha Run in February. For 12 years I did that race. Then I started Crossfit and stopped. So that is my big goal. I have walked it before, so I can do that if I need to. I'm excited.

So things are definitely moving in the right direction and I feel like I'm making some good decisions. I can tell when I'm doing what I should be because things go my way. Now it's time to decide if I want to go to bed or watch Extreme Weight Loss.....

05 July 2015

Almost derailed

You cannot imagine the anger I felt at myself for yesterday. I had been making such amazing progress in so many areas, and one jump almost derailed everything. I went to the store yesterday and bought Nutter Butters and then ate the whole pack. I went to the store today and bought Oreos and have eaten about 6 so far. My desk is starting to pile up again, everything I have done yesterday and today is just sitting on my desk not put away. I missed my 30 minutes last night on my dissertation. I've spent most of today sitting on my ass in front of this beast playing games. I almost let that one thing derail my entire week of progress. Well, it's not going to. I came to my senses just a few minutes ago and am already taking steps to get back on track.

My foot is feeling really good, it has recovered quickly. I am, however, still going to give Crossfit a rest. I saw people today biking and running and I want to do that again. So once my foot heals that's what I'm going to do. As for Crossfit, I may or may not go back. I don't know. In many ways I am over it and in some ways I'd like to continue, we'll see. It is not completely out of the question. I did get up and do some yoga this morning, that felt amazing. So for the foreseeable future I'm doing yoga. I'm going to get up in the mornings and do 30 minutes of yoga, then in the evenings I will walk the dogs. I might add some treadmill work in if my foot feels up to it. I'm going to work on my food too. Nutter Butters and Oreos are not good food choices no matter what program I'm following. I have seriously thought about Weight Watchers again, just of the support and the meetings. I don't know, I'll think about that too. It would be nice to bike to the WW meetings on Saturday mornings and then go for bike ride around town. We'll see. It's all a work in progress.

So there it is. Victim status has been rejected and I am back to being the strong, focused person I was before Saturday.

Social media holiday

I've decided to take a break from social media. I spend far, far too much time just scrolling through Facebook. Yes, I get a lot of in...