20 July 2013

Kind of lazy


I didn't go to Crossfit yesterday and I'm not going today. Yesterday I had a presentation to the new teachers at school to make and I wanted to get their early to make sure everything worked. It didn't. I probably had time to go to Crossfit at 6 am but my back was aching a little so I decided to give it a rest. Ended up being at school for 5 hours yesterday and I was exhausted. Woke up this morning with my back aching even more. So I decided that the smart thing to do is to stay home again. So I did. I've taken some ibuprofen and I plan on relaxing all day. I have things to read for school and plenty to keep my mind occupied. So it's going to be a lazy day of rest and relaxation to get this back in order.

18 July 2013

Huh????


This is kind of how I feel today. My weight was back up 2 lbs. this morning. I know, I know, I know. All of the reasons why you should not weigh yourself everyday. I know. But sometimes, not always, but sometimes weighing myself everyday helps me keep things in perspective. Today for instance. I did not feel like I was up 2 lbs. And I did not eat 7,000 calories yesterday, so logically I know I'm not up 2 lbs. But it helps me to distance myself from the number on the scale. Looking at that number and knowing that it is absolutely not true, lessens the power of the scale in my mind. Yesterday was really, really hot. I did not drink as much water as I did the 2 previous days. I ate a bit of a salty lunch. All of those reasons could account for that 2 lbs, or it could be something else entirely. So I can't explain it, but I know it's not real. So that's good.

Yesterday I PR'd my deadlift. 245 lbs. Holy Crap!!! I can deadlift an obese person!!!! Anyway, doing it put a lot of pressure on my back. When I woke this morning it was a little achy, but it didn't hurt. It kind of felt like a sore muscle. I get them in my arms and legs all the time. I debated going to Crossfit but ultimately decided that I was only questioning it because it was my back. What if it was just sore muscles from my back getting stronger (please God, let that be it. I need a stronger back). So I decided to go. We worked on double unders for skill so that was fine. But the WOD included burpees and box jumps. Neither of them are great on the back. But I took it slow, walking the burpees and the box jumps, and things went fine. My back is a little sore now, but I really think I'll live.

17 July 2013

And I am back


This morning I am down the other 2 lbs that I was up on Monday. I knew those weren't real pounds since there was no way I ate 14,000 calories last week. I love the feeling of being able to suck in my stomach. I haven't gotten the energy burst yet, that may take longer to come, but I'll hold out for it.

I did not count my calories all day on Monday, it's just not something I do so I forgot. But I did figure out breakfast, 3 slices of bacon, 1 sausage link, 3 eggs, and veggies. That was right around 600 calories. Lunch worked out to about 700 calories. The only snack I had was some fruit and not that much. Dinner I didn't figure out but it was steak, veggies, and salad. I'm figuring around 650 calories. That totals out to 1950 calories. If you factor in the fruit I ate maybe 2100 cals. tops. I felt really good. I got sleepy in the afternoon but not exhausted and didn't take a nap. Yesterday was very similar and again, sleepy in the afternoon but not exhausted. Two full days without a nap, on break. That's a record for me.

The lesson here? Eating too few calories is almost as bad as eating too many. In some ways it's worse. I get tired, really, really tired. I bloat - big time. And I just am not myself. So, since I'm not really snacking during the day anymore, I need to make sure my meals are big enough. I need to lose that diet mindset, reducing calories, etc. It's hard after it's been part of all your adult life. I need to eat. Eat well. Drink water. Workout. That will do it.

So once again, for just one day I need to be perfect. Eat well. Workout. Drink lots and lots of water. It's been working so far and I'm feeling awesome. Let's do it one more day.

16 July 2013

Down 2


That's what I was down in weight this morning. I knew that 4 lb gain was not real. A day of good eating and drinking lots of water makes a huge difference. I'm feeling much better already. Now I just need to get through another day. Just one day of eating right and drinking water. Just one day.

Crossfit is never consistently good. It just isn't. Just when you think you are doing great and getting strong, a WOD comes along and smacks you with reality. This morning reality hit me in the face. I've been doing pretty good in the WODs lately. The shoulder is about 99% so I've been able to push things a little. So today was power cleans and pull-ups. I really thought I could do these decently. No!! What the hell made me think that? I started with 85# on the power cleans and did the first 12. Then it was off to pull-ups. I suck at pull-ups and I need to get better. I was supposed to do 24, I did 14 and then had to move to ring rows. I was so pissed at myself. My arms were burning. When I went back to the power cleans, I dropped the weight down to 65#. I was really pissed at myself. I want to be able to do pull-ups. I don't have to do them unassisted, I'll do them with bands, I just want to be able to do them. I believe that part of the problem was yesterdays WOD. We did lunges while holding a 25# plate over our head. My arms are toast. So I'm trying to put today in perspective, but I can't help but be disappointed in myself just a little. Okay, tomorrow is another day and I have a whole lot of school work to do today.

15 July 2013

One Day


For just one day I am going to be perfect. I am going to eat right. I am going to avoid all sugar, wheat, and processed foods. I am going to treat my body well and nourish it properly. I am going to drink plenty of water. I am going to move my body. For just one day I will be perfect.

The day has started well. I went to 6am Crossfit even though I really didn't feel like it. I awoke with a headache and it hasn't gotten much better. But I went and worked my butt off. I stepped on the scale before I left and I'm up 4 lbs from last Monday. Now that is absolutely not possible. To gain 4 lbs I would have eaten 14,000 calories extra!!!! I probably didn't eat 14,000 calories all week. Which, I honestly believe, is part of my problem. When I am home I don't eat as much. When I don't eat as much I get lazy. I nap. I crave junk to fill me up. So part of my perfect day today, will include counting my calories. I need at least 2,000 a day. So today I track calories. I am feeling very bloated and puffy though. I had to dig out my plus size sport bras for Crossfit this morning.

Okay, I'm hungry. I'm going to shower, make a good breakfast, and start on my first glass of water. That may be why I have a headache. Not drinking enough water. Well, I will fix that today.

14 July 2013

I am a binge eater


Binge eating is an insidious monster. Years ago, I used to binge eat until my stomach hurt. My stomach would stick out and it would physically ache from the sheer amount of food in it. It's been a long time since I did that. I basically became aware of it and worked on stopping it. I did. It's been over 10 years since I've had a binge like that. I mean a real one, where I kept eating even though I was absolutely full and sick. I really believed I was over that. Then today I realized that while I no longer binge until I am ill and aching, I still binge. It's just that the binges are smaller now, but they are still binges. Last night I went to the store just before dinner and bought a pack of Nutter Butters. After dinner I started eating them and did not stop until I ate the entire package. No matter what you call it, that is a binge. I stopped binging the first time by being aware and talking about it, at least to myself, so that's what I'm going to do this time also. I'm going to face the ugly truth that I am still a binger and now I have to deal with it.

So, for the umpteenth time this summer, I am starting over tomorrow. It begins with Crossfit at 6 am. Then there will be a good paleo breakfast. I will then work for a few hours on school work. In that time I will do a mini WOD every 60-90 minutes. The mini WOD will be 5 minutes of two or three bodyweight moves. This will not only keep me moving but help me to stay away from food. I will drink water until my teeth are floating. I will eat a healthy, paleo lunch and then start working on my presentation for Friday. Also, with some mini WODs thrown in. I will then eat a healthy, paleo dinner and once dinner is over eating will be done for the day. There will be no dessert of any kind for any reason. No sugar. No sugar. No sugar. And, as much as I love fruit, I'm going to cut back some. I think the fruit is setting off my sugar cravings. Weird, I know....but I've been eating mangos a lot lately. I usually eat them after breakfast and then after lunch I want sugar. Coincidence???? I think not. So I'm backing off the fruit a bit.

Also, instead of making some sweeping pronouncements that I will lose 10 lbs in the next two weeks, I'm going to keep it simple. I want to get through tomorrow. That is my goal - success tomorrow. Just one day.

Conversation with Hubby

 So yesterday morning I presented my idea of working out at home to the Hubby. Once I presented it to him, he said he was in. I told him I h...