01 February 2014

Getting right back on the horse

So yesterday I fell. In many ways, I fell hard. But yesterday is over and it's time to move on. Yesterday shook me in some deep, primal way. I'm not sure why. Other people have died. I've lost family members, but yesterday shook me. I think it might be because I knew what was going on with her. For a year I had watched her struggle with her health and at times I felt like she was doing the wrong thing. The thing is, what she was doing wrong is the kind of thing I would do. I believe that's what shook me so hard. I like to think that I am intelligent, but watching her last year and thinking I might react the same way, is kind of scary.

But I can't use that as an excuse to fail. I need to use it as a learning tool and make sure I don't do something similar. So it's back at it today. In spite of all the food I ate last night, cookies, beer, margaritas, burger, fries, pie, I woke this morning hungry. That tells me that my body does not recognize most of that stuff as food. I was stuffed last night, I should not be hungry this morning, but I am. I'm going to Crossfit without eating anyway. And the rest of the day will be eating good, real food and recovering from yesterday. Wish me luck at Crossfit this morning, because I am starving.....

31 January 2014

Life, death, and Paleo

A friend passed away last night. It was a shock. This is a person I had breakfast with most days for the last 5 years. We weren't close, not at all. But we were friends, we talked a lot, we laughed, we shared our lives. She could be really annoying, but I'm sure she thought the same thing about me. Her passing is such a shock, I'm not sure I've processed it completely. I can not believe she is gone. She did not come back to school after Christmas break and we were told she was sick, but not how sick. I don't think anyone realized how truly sick she was. Her liver failed and there was nothing they could do. So sad. Such a waste. She just turned 60 over the summer and threw a big party to celebrate. We learned this today during a mass for Catholic schools week. Timing, huh? I will miss her. I hope she knew that I liked her. We would argue, but I hope she understood it was not because I didn't like her. I just hope she knew.......

That led to a lapse in Paleo today. Somehow what I ate just did not seem that important in the overall scheme of things. Also, life is so very short. So I broke paleo. Not a great reason, but a legitimate one. Tomorrow it will be back to it. But tonight, I get a break. I get to mourn the loss of a friend and I get to not think about food. Tomorrow I will pick myself up and move on....but I will always try to remember to not be so serious and to treasure all the moments because we never know when it will end.

It is never easy

The last couple days have been up and down, good and bad. I've been really tired at night and dragging a little during the day. Not sure exactly why though. I have not been getting enough sleep. that is one is thing. I've been wearing my Fitbit to bed and it shows I'm only getting about 6.5 hours sleep a night. Time to step that up. I get up at 4:30 and there is no point really. I think I will move my wake up time back to 5, in bed by 9 boom 8 hours. So that will start happening. Of course, tomorrow I get to sleep in, so this will start on Monday. Another thing is, how do I put this delicately, my poop. I've been going a lot for the amount of food I'm eating. I wonder if it's being affected by the liver pills. I've been taking them all week. I don't feel any great difference yet, but I will give it at least a month, maybe two. You can not get anything in just a couple of days.

Okay, just killing some time before I have to leave for work. Today we have a meeting of all the catholic school teachers. Yeah. There is a mass and then a speaker. It's not so bad. I get to play shuttle bus driver for them. The parking is quite a ways away and I will be shuttling attendees back and forth. At least it will keep me working, I don't do well with unstructured downtime. Ha.... The best part of this is that we are done by 12:30. By the time I shuttle people back to their car and then drive everyone back to school, it should be 1:30ish and I will be done for the day. Head home and start my weekend. Woot!!!

Okay, time to get moving. I don't want to get to school too early, but I don't want a lot of traffic either. So I'm off.....

28 January 2014

Nothing to say

I don't really have anything to say today. I didn't have anything to say yesterday either. Things are good. The Paleo Challenge is going really well. WODs are awesome. And I'm feeling like a million bucks. What more can I say? I think of something :)

The challenge is going so well, it's almost hard to believe. Today at school we had a pot luck and I did really, really well. I had salad with shredded chicken on it and no dressing. Some fresh veggies . Kalua pork. Ribs. Now I probably should not have had the ribs because they had BBQ sauce on them. But since there was so little for me to eat, and I was starving, I decided that it was not the worst choice I could make. Oh yeah, I also had a lot of fresh fruit. A. Lot. There was a table full of desserts and I did not have one. I didn't even want one. I was very proud of myself and felt that I handled the potluck very well.

We did have an interesting conversation at lunch. One of the other teachers is doing a juice fast. She gave some story about resetting her palate and not doing it to lose weight, etc. The problem is, and I don't think she realizes it, is that she is resetting her metabolism to store fat really well. She is not helping her body in any way. Also, and I'm sure she doesn't realize this either, she talks about food all the time. Everything is about food. I know she is thinking about it constantly because she is not eating. When they were cleaning up the potluck, she took the most food home - for her son. She has a serious problem with food and really has no idea how to handle it. She needs to stop doing the crazy stuff and just eat real food. I was good though, I didn't go all crazy on her, even though I really wanted to.

Workouts have been really good. I've had energy and been doing lots more. What I haven't been doing is my PT exercises as much as I should. But I did them tonight and I'm going to do them every night until my next appointment. I am making progress all ready and I'm not doing it enough. Imagine if I do it regularly?

One thing that is a little different, I don't really get tired at night until I get tired. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's true. I feel great, lots of energy, and then suddenly - bam - tired. Oh well, that's okay. It's just my body telling me to get some rest.

That's it. I'm tired, and I'm heading off to bed.

27 January 2014

12 days in

I am really trying not to make this about a number on a scale, but I can't help but get excited to see I have lost 5 pounds already. I could feel it and knew I was down. I know that I have a number as one of my goals for this challenge, but it is not my main goal. I really just want to feel good in my body again. I was just reading a post on Crossfit and, like Paleo, it has made me look at things differently. I no longer look at my body and hate parts of it. I look at my body in amazement at what it can do. I can deadlift 250lbs. I can lift an obese person off the floor. I can snatch 60lbs. Think about that. That is a lot of weight and I can just grab it off the floor and fling it over my head. I can back squat 135lbs. What? That's just crazy! Yes, I can not do weights that the elite do, but how many 54 year old women do you know that can do that?

Anyway, 12 days in and my energy is going through the roof. I didn't nap yesterday or today. What? It's a weekend without a nap, that's just wrong. But there it is. And my mental focus is unreal. I wrote two papers today in record time. It is amazing. I don't feel so scattered and distracted. I joke that I have adult ADD, and it almost feels like now I don't. Hmmm...

Anyway, part of the challenge is getting enough sleep, so I'm off to do that.

Monsoon season has arrived

and we got our first rain yesterday. Actually, it's still raining a little this morning. It wasn't a lot of rain, but it was rain....