03 July 2009

Time for a change

I'm not sure this is going to make sense to anyone but me but I want to document it. I'm pretty much done. I've reached a point where I'm tired of constantly thinking about my weight and working out. Where I'm tired of beating myself up because I didn't get a specific workout in that day. I'm incredibly busy right now and beating myself up about food and working out is really not helping at all. So I'm done. I'm going to watch what I eat but I'm not going to obsess about it endlessly, which it seems I do constantly. I'm going to eat good, healthy food because I like it, it tastes good, and it makes me feel good. Not because it will help me lose weight or build muscle or burn fat or anything else. I'm not going to stress over when I eat, I'll eat when I'm hungry. I'm not going to stress over portion sizes, an extra large apple will not kill me!! I am going to focus on how I feel. I'm busy teaching and learning and doing both together and it's taking up so much of my time you can not imagine. So I'm going to workout when I can and do things I want to. I take the dogs to the park every morning and we walk quite a ways. No, it's not aerobic or weight bearing but I'm moving. I have the elliptical I'll jump on it when the mood strikes me. I have weights I can do while I'm watching TV. I'm just tired of making it my life's pursuit. I'm done. I'm now going to strive for a more balanced life. Instead of beating myself up over the things I didn't get done, I'm going to enjoy doing the things I love.

Time to decompress

Wow, it has been a wild couple of weeks. I have had so much work with my school, the summer school I'm teaching, the dogs, the birds, you name it. I have been running myself ragged trying to fit everything in that needed to be done in a day. Finally, a holiday. I now have time to decompress, regroup, and get organized for the coming week. I have one more week of summer school to teach, then I get a break for 2 weeks. Then it's full time school, 5 classes a day, 20 kids a class. I'll be busy over break getting ready for that. I'm looking forward to August 19 when my classes are over. Then I have a 3 week break before my next class starts, so for 3 weeks I'll only have teaching. The worst part about all this is the mental exhaustion. I'm sitting here right now and I'm having trouble forming coherent sentences. I just got up and I feel like I've been up for hours. I need to do some mindless stuff first. I'm going to take the dogs to the dog park, then come home and work out, then sit down and figure out what all I need to work on. So now I stop thinking for a while.

01 July 2009

Just Exhausted

I knew this was going to happen but I was hoping I could delay it. It doesn't seem so. I have reached a point where I am just swamped. I'm still teaching summer school and those two hours a day take me about 4 hours to prepare for. I have class on Monday and Wednesday night that is 3 hours long each night and has a ton of work with it. I have 'field trips' every Tuesday that take a lot of time. And I have a 4 hour class every Thursday night that requires a ton of work. I've reached the point where I am just exhausted. I'm not getting my workouts in, the dogs aren't getting much exercise, I'm not spending much time with the bird or the hubby. Ugh!!!! The good thing is summer school ends next week. The bad thing is regular school starts before my classes end. So for the two weeks I'm off I want to get lesson plans done for the entire rest of my classes. I figure if I'm spending 4 hours getting 2 hours worth of lessons ready, how long is it going to take me to get 6 hours ready?!?!?!? UGH!!!!!! August 19th my classes end and I am really looking forward to that. I only have one class in fall and that is my teaching internship. So, I'm exhausted and just want to lie down and sleep. I can't do that because I have to teach a class, read 3 chapters in a book, take notes, write a letter, and have this all done before 4 pm. Yeah, that's going to happen...... At least Friday is a holiday - I'm looking forward to that......

The power of meditation

I feel like a new age guru. Some recent convert who is all gung-ho and extolling the virtues of some new thing. But the fact of the matte...