21 May 2005

It's been a pretty good week!

Not great, but good. I was supposed to do my first tri this morning but due to a minor reinjury of my sprained ankle on Thursday I decided not to risk it. I have decided to take this weekend off completely and let the body heal. I'm going to work on my website, my projects, and my guitar.

Since the tv season is ending I have decided to wean myself from it. I will use the summer to master the guitar, get my internet business up and running, and workout. I thnk I can accomplish all three if I just put my nose to the grindstone and do it. This weekend will be used for organization and planning.

I'm off to weight in this morning but first a stop at the open market to stock up on veggies. I don't really have much to say so I guess I'll get moving..

18 May 2005

Funny how things seem to show up just when you

need them. After my little rant yesterday about being fat, I read Renee's blog and she managed to write exactly what I needed to hear.

She was writing about "results not typical" and how she fights for her weightloss and fitness every step of the way. That's exactly how I am and sometimes I need to hear other people fighting the same fight. It takes me an inordinate amount of time to create a "lifestyle change" and it drives me crazy to hear or read people saying "Oh, I stopped eating after 7 pm and lost 150lbs." My god, it took me years to break the eating at night habit and I still find it sneaking in if I'm not vigilant.

I started this weight loss journey in 1998. I still have not reached my goal. I am not yet in the shape I want to be in. But I keep on fighting and trying and am making progress a little bit every day. I will still pick junk food over healthy food if I don't "talk myself down." I will still choose laziness over activity if I don't kick myself in the butt. I fight every single day for every success and it's hard. I don't automatically make good choices; I have to think each decision through and most of the time force myself to do the right thing. Only recently have I actually realized that fruit will substitute for something sweet.

I am only 15lbs from my goal and I've been here for a long time. I don't know when I will reach my goal or if I ever will. I do know I'm fighting every single day to do the best I can and to make the best choices I can. It would be nice if one day these things became automatic and I no longer need to think about everything that goes in my mouth or every move I made, but I'm not counting on it. I think this is a fight I will be fighting the rest of my life. However, I am making progress in other ways. I am stronger, have more muscle, and am healthier than I have ever been in my life and that is defintely important. So like Renee, you can title my life = Results pretty typical..........

17 May 2005

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING FAT!!!

YES, I'M YELLING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.

I had a break in exercise last week due to injuries and that lead to a break in common sense and eating!! Did I not think that lack of exercise and overeating would lead to weight gain. I put my new tri clothes on last night and just looked pudgy. I HATE IT!!!!! While I was running this morning (very slowly) I could see my shadow and my thighs and hips looked way too round. I'M SICK OF IT!!! I am starting right here and right now. I WILL stick to my eating plan and I WILL stick to my exercise program. I know what I want and I know what I need to do to get there - SO GET ON WITH IT!!!!! Right here; right now!!!!!!

Gee, I'm a conservative, what a shock......










Your Political Profile



Overall: 65% Conservative, 35% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal


I am not so sure about being liberal in my ethics though; I consider that an insult!!!!
Oh well, it's something to do.....
Today was good. I got up and went for a bike ride. I don't feel like I get as good a workout when I ride. I don't know why I just don't. Anyway, when I got home tonight I went for a swim. It wasn't long and it wasn't pretty; the ocean was pretty rough tonight; but I got in the water and sometimes that's the most important part.
My ankle it much better. I think it will be fine by morning. I'm debating on walking/running or riding again. I don't know. I'll make my decision in the morning depending how I feel.
Well, that's all. I'm off to work out my week. Taking 5 days off really makes me feel like a pudge.........

15 May 2005

Oh thank god that's over......

It has been the worst week ever and I am so glad it's over and that tomorrow is Monday and the start of a new week. The week didn't start off great. I felt icky and out of it but did my scheduled workouts on Monday and Tuesday morning. Monday afternoon my period started and it was pretty heavy. By Tuesday afternoon it was bad and I was cramping bad. Since I was supposed to swim Tuesday night I decided to pass. Well, I slept wrong Tuesday night and woke up with an incredibly painful neck. It hurt so bad I was getting nauseous. I ended up spending the day in bed taking muscle relaxers. So the rest of the week was pretty much shot since I could hardly move my head.

Yesterday morning, Saturday, it was feeling much better but still not perfect. But, since I hadn't exercised all week I really felt the need to do something. After WW I decided to go hiking/running. I wasn't sure about the running part but definitely hiking for awhile. 6 minutes into my hike I fall and twist my ankle. I stumble back to the car and it doesn't seem too bad. By last night I was in screaming agony. It hurt really, really bad. I was getting very depressed and bummed about my future exercise plans.

This morning I got up and it really doesn't feel that bad. It's still sore but I think I'll live. My neck finally feels better too. I think I'll be able to do something tomorrow morning.

Well, I just took the wrap off my ankle and it's pretty swollen, maybe tomorrow is too soon. I don't know; I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I am a pretty firm believer in the fact that there are no accidents. Things happen for a reason and usually you make them happen. I have hiked/run that trail 4 or 5 times and never had a problem. In fact, I like that trail because it is so smooth and rock free. Also, the rock I hit was pretty small and not sticking out of the ground very much. So that makes me think; Why did I do this??? What am I trying to avoid/do??? The only thing I can come up with is the tri next weekend. Maybe I'm trying to avoid that. It is scary but I shouldn't be this afraid of it. I don't know, I'm gonna have to work on this.

So needless to say this has been a crappy week. My weight was up to 161 - ugh!!!!

Okay, as I hobbled off to get another cup of coffee I came to a decision. Why don't I ride my bike and swim?? It's light enough in the morning that I can go for a bike ride and then swim when I get home at night. That way I won't use my ankle for the week and yet still get some exercise in.

Okay, this will all be fine, it's just a minor setback and I need to get over it and not let it drag me down.

Conversation with Hubby

 So yesterday morning I presented my idea of working out at home to the Hubby. Once I presented it to him, he said he was in. I told him I h...